In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.

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Various activities have been altered recently, even the monotonous and fundamental activities including shopping, would be regarded as a hobby. They view it that way because they simply understand the benefits of shopping,
such
as relieving their stress and learning new
skills
, particularly detail-oriented and analytic
skills
. A person who tends to choose shopping as a hobby usually wants to seek new interests because shopping will introduce them to numerous items that they might be attracted to try, namely beauty, food, electronic devices, and more.
Hence
, fully allowing themselves to know and try them will fulfil their satisfaction
along with
reducing their stress.
For instance
, most customers often remain longer in their favourite sections to observe new products and feel pleased by only seeing the display features, which surely give them great joy and feel less burden since they are probably full of excitement.
Furthermore
, shopping can sharpen several
skills
since they are going to be drawn to wider aspects when they become more devoted to shopping.
This
can develop their abilities to analyze the prices and markets to be knowledgeable in determining the location and time to shop.
Additionally
, they would become detail-oriented because they mainly focus on the qualities or the benefits of purchasing a product during shopping, To exemplify, the majority of mothers are better at choosing more beneficial and valuable items properly since they have become familiar with some information that needs to be ensured
while
shopping. In conclusion, people perceive shopping as a hobby positively because of the favourable outcomes for them by getting satisfied feelings, which significantly contributes to the decrease of stress levels.
Moreover
, it
also
brings tangible impacts to the people by honing their crucial
skills
.
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on

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To enhance the essay, it would be beneficial to include more specific examples to further illustrate points and provide evidence for claims made. This could help support the arguments effectively and improve understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs to guide readers through the essay more seamlessly. This will improve coherence and make the essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a well-defined introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main ideas effectively and providing a clear overview of the topic discussed.
task achievement
The author supports the main points with examples, making the argument more relatable and grounded in reality.
task achievement
The main ideas are clear and comprehensive, addressing the prompt and focusing on the positive aspects of shopping as a hobby.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • retail therapy
  • materialism
  • disposable income
  • economic growth
  • financial instability
  • environmental impact
  • social interaction
  • community building
  • emotional satisfaction
  • advertising influence
  • shopping habits
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