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Writing Samples
Band 6

New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? (Band 7,5)

#technologies #lives #consumers #band
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Nowadays, new
technologies
 and roads of purchasing and vending are changing the
lives
 of buyers. I really concur with
this
 statement. In
this
 essay, I will provide some opinions on
this
 matter. In
this
era
, new
technologies
 can change the
lives
 of buyers to buy and sell.
This
 is because the
technologies
 can make it easy for the customers to buy and sell everything in their
lives
.
For example
, when
people
 desire to purchase food but they do not want to leave their houses. They can order these foods from an application and processing these
transactions
 is easier. the orders will arrive a few minutes after the transaction.
therefore
, In
this
era
, very easy to do
transactions
 without having to order in a restaurant. Meanwhile, these
technologies
 can influence
people
 who are not up-to-date to utilize these
technologies
. These
people
 can be difficult to do
transactions
 to buy and sell.
For instance
, when there is an older who is not following the development of
technologies
 and wants to run a business, his business will deserted because all
transactions
 in
this
era
 use online
transactions
. So, these
technologies
 can lead the
people
 who do not follow these
technologies
 to be left behind. In conclusion, In
this
era
, new
technologies
 and ways of buying and selling are changing the
lives
 of buyers to purchase and sell.
On the other hand
, these
technologies
 can cause customers who do not follow the development of
technologies
 to be left behind.
Submitted by akbarsurya264 on

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task response
Try to clearly differentiate between the positive and negative impacts of technology on buying and selling to provide a balanced view.
coherence
Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs for a smoother reading experience.
task response
Consider adding more specific examples or evidence to support your points, especially for the negative impacts.
task achievement
You've done a great job of addressing the main topic and expressing your personal agreement with the statement.
coherence
The essay contains a clear introduction and a conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You have used examples to illustrate your points, such as ordering food online, which enhances clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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