Write a letter to get assistance about transfer of money to foreign country

I am writing formally to request your assistance with transferring funds from my bank

account

Use synonyms

Australian

Correct article usage

the Australian

show examples

Bank. It has been a privilege to be a member of Scotia Bank for the past 5 years. Recently, I

need

Wrong verb form

needed

show examples

to send $20,000 to my brother’s

account

Use synonyms

in the ‘National Sydney Bank’ with

account

Use synonyms

number #2466112 and

Use synonyms

account

Correct article usage

the account

show examples

holder

Change noun form

holder's

show examples

name is ‘Raha Sohn’.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, I choose your esteemed organization for the fund transfer. I would like to send

this

Linking Words

money by the express wire transfer option in which I am ready to pay the minimum fees for fast

pace

Correct your spelling

fast-paced

show examples

transaction.

Additionally

Linking Words

, kindly acknowledge me about the several other alternative pathways in which I can receive efficient exchange rates during

this

Linking Words

interaction. I would be grateful if you

review

Wrong verb form

reviewed

show examples

my application as I want to facilitate the medical expenses of my sibling in

this

Linking Words

emergency situation. Please let me know if you require any

further

Linking Words

documentation or verification for the next steps. Thank you for your time and consideration. Yours faithfully, Saras

sarabjeetk8899

Dec 6, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider organizing the information in a more structured way to enhance clarity and coherence. For example, starting with a brief introduction on the need for assistance and then moving on to specific details of the transfer.

task achievement

Provide a little more context about the significance of the transfer and why this specific bank is chosen, to enhance the task response.

task achievement

The letter maintains a formal tone suitable for the situation and audience.

task achievement

The letter clearly states the purpose and provides necessary details for the transaction, achieving good task response.

coherence cohesion

The closure of the letter is polite and follows a suitable format, which aids in overall coherence and cohesion.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

172 words

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Write a letter to get assistance about transfer of money to foreign country

As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Does the advantage of this for individuals outweigh the disadvantage for the environment?

Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources, whilst other people believe that sport in schools is a vital part of education. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people say that at all levels of education, from primary school to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree? Read my sample answer here. Reported on IELTS October 5th

Some ‏ say that today’s life is better than it will be in the future; othehrs disagree and say that in the future life will be better tha now. Discuss and include your own opinion.

Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying products (such as cellphones) or services (medical treatments) do you agree or disagree?