Write a letter to get assistance about transfer of money to foreign country

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I am writing formally to request your assistance with transferring funds from my bank
account
Use synonyms
to
Australian
Correct article usage
the Australian
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Bank. It has been a privilege to be a member of Scotia Bank for the past 5 years. Recently, I
need
Wrong verb form
needed
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to send $20,000 to my brother’s
account
Use synonyms
in the ‘National Sydney Bank’ with
account
Use synonyms
number #2466112 and
Use synonyms
account
Correct article usage
the account
show examples
holder
Change noun form
holder's
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name is ‘Raha Sohn’.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason, I choose your esteemed organization for the fund transfer. I would like to send
this
Linking Words
money by the express wire transfer option in which I am ready to pay the minimum fees for fast
pace
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
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transaction.
Additionally
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, kindly acknowledge me about the several other alternative pathways in which I can receive efficient exchange rates during
this
Linking Words
interaction. I would be grateful if you
review
Wrong verb form
reviewed
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my application as I want to facilitate the medical expenses of my sibling in
this
Linking Words
emergency situation. Please let me know if you require any
further
Linking Words
documentation or verification for the next steps. Thank you for your time and consideration. Yours faithfully, Saras

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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing the information in a more structured way to enhance clarity and coherence. For example, starting with a brief introduction on the need for assistance and then moving on to specific details of the transfer.
task achievement
Provide a little more context about the significance of the transfer and why this specific bank is chosen, to enhance the task response.
task achievement
The letter maintains a formal tone suitable for the situation and audience.
task achievement
The letter clearly states the purpose and provides necessary details for the transaction, achieving good task response.
coherence cohesion
The closure of the letter is polite and follows a suitable format, which aids in overall coherence and cohesion.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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