IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Some individuals believe that the major environmental issue of our time is the loss of significant
species
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 of plants and animals,
while
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 others admit that other problems are more vital. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspectives
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 and present my opinion. On one side of
argument
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the argument
an argument
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, the extinction of specific flora and fauna
consider
Wrong verb form
is considered
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as
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apply
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a threat to
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
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 and biodiversity. When a
species
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 vanishes, the equilibrium is disrupted, and the
overall
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 well-being of nature is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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affected.
For instance
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, the disappearance
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species
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of species
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 like bees could result in diminished plant reproduction
due to
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this
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 fact it may impact the food supply for various
species
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.
Additionally
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, endangered
species
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 may have unique characteristics that could aid in scientific and medical discoveries. Losing them would not only harm nature but
also
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 deprive humanity of potential benefits. On the other
hands
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hand
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, some argue that there are more challenging problems to be solved
such
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 as air pollution, overpopulation and global warming which all of
them
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 have a direct impact on the environment and human life. As we can observe, now in metropolitan cities we are facing with increasing amount of population which can cause air and noise population.
Also
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, the earth is becoming warmer, and it may eventually lead to the melting of the polar ice and become
uninhabitable
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an uninhabitable
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 era for
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the creature
a creature
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creature
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creatures
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. In conclusion,
while
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 the loss of
species
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 is undoubtedly a significant concern
due to
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 its impact on biodiversity and potential scientific discoveries, I believe that advanced environmental problems
such
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 as climate change and pollution pose an even greater threat to the planet. Addressing these challenges is essential for the survival of both humanity and the natural world.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay presents a clear discussion of both views. Just ensure that your ideas flow smoothly from one to another with clear transitions between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Focus on providing more detailed and specific examples to strongly support your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-articulated and clearly express the essay's main idea and opinion.
Task Achievement
Both sides of the argument are addressed, showcasing your ability to explore multiple perspectives on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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