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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

What can be done to maintain biodiversity?

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It is a fact that strong global industrialization, economic race and emigrations nowadays are putting a variety of flora and fauna on the verge of extinction. Some
people
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 might say that it is a price human must pay for progress.
However
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, there are some solutions that the government, local authorities and each individual should do to reverse
this
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 trend. In the first place, the government could impose new strict laws against activities that cause harm to the environment. Those can be named as indiscriminate logging, rare-species hunting, forest destruction, strip mining, etc. Alarmingly, a lot of
people
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 have tried to earn money by all means despite the environmental decay, which has caused the disappearance of animals and plantsand, the broken food chain
due to
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 the loss of natural habitat. If there were more deterrence from authorities, those
people
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 might not dare to conduct
such
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 cruel things. In the second place, each individual could
also
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 play a role in healing the world.
People
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 could start helping the biodiversity by small simple steps like not littering, limiting the use of plastic bags, and planting more trees.
Besides
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, education is important to create better awareness about protecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature.
For example
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, children should be taught early about our limited natural resources, and the importance of vegetation and biodiversity so that later they can become adults responsible for using effective energy, dealing well with oil spills, replacing fossil fuel with renewable energy, and creating more green spaces.
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, we could make use of the powerful development of popular social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, TikTok,... to hold propaganda campaigns to raise support and funds to protect "Red Book" species. In conclusion, biodiversity is standing a high risk of being seriously broken. Taking those actions above would help protect all kinds of rare animals and plants around us.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Your introduction clearly states the topic, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points. To further enhance task achievement, ensure each paragraph provides detailed examples and explanations that directly support your assertions.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Improve coherence by enhancing the linkage between your main points and supporting details. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to smoothly guide the reader through your arguments.
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