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Band 4.5

The chart below illustrates which of 3 fast food retaurant were the most preffered amonst the tenagers in Vietnam and Indonasia in 2017 and the predeiction for 2027.

The chart below illustrates which of 3 fast food retaurant were the most preffered amonst the tenagers in Vietnam and Indonasia in 2017 and the predeiction for 2027.
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The given four pie charts portray which of
3
Correct article usage
the 3
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fast food restaurants were the most liked by
teenagers
Use synonyms
 in
Vietnam
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 in the year 2017 and the predictions for 2027.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the year 2017, the most preferred restaurant among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Vietnamese
teenagers
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 was Burger King,
while
Linking Words
 in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
,
McDonald
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's was the most preferred restaurant among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
Use synonyms
. In 2027, in both
Vietnam
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 and
Indonesia
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,
McDonald
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's will be the most preferred restaurant among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescents
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. In the year 2017, in
Vietnam
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, 52.8 % of
teenagers
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 preferred Burger King,
while
Linking Words
 in
Indonesia
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, only 15.4 % of
teenagers
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 preferred Burger King.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
Vietnam
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, 43.1% of
teenagers
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 preferred
McDonald
Use synonyms
's,
while
Linking Words
 in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Mcdonald's
Correct your spelling
McDonald's
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 was preferred by 60.8 % of
adolescents
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. Only 4.1 % of Vietnamese
adolescents
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 preferred
KFC
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,
while
Linking Words
, 23.8 % of Indonesian
adolescents
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 preferred
KFC
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. In 2027,
McDonald
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's will be the most preferred
restaurants
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurant
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 for both Vietnamese and Indonesian
teenagers
Use synonyms
 because 57.4% and 48.5% of
teenagers
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these two countries respectively will prefer
McDonald
Use synonyms
's.
While
Linking Words
 only 6.3 % of
teenagers
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 will prefer
KFC
Use synonyms
 in
Vietnam
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, and 39.2 % of
teenagers
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 will prefer
KFC
Use synonyms
 in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words teenagers, vietnam, indonesia, mcdonald, adolescents, kfc with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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