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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising encourages people to buy things they do not need. Others say that advertisements are important sources of information about new products. Discuss both views and give your opinion Huy Cao

#people #advertisements #sources #information #products #huy #cao
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Nowadays, some believe that they are buying some unimportant
products
 because of the effect of
advertisements
 but a wide range of people say that broadcasts help them to pay for new helpful
products
. Two aforementioned opinions will be discussed in the following paragraphs before presenting my personal perspective in the conclusion. Every day, more and more invented
products
 come to the market by a group of factories in the world.
Advertisements
 a tools that not only help society to know about it but
also
 help companies to promote the rate of selling in the market.
In contrast
, some ad agencies work to affect the community by buying something without making a benefit for the buyer. Recent research conducted at Harvard University that 65% of
advertisements
 encourage consumers to pay for useless
products
. Ads give out to consumers an extremely convincing enticement that they feel
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is truly necessary. Watching images of influencers on social media driving luxurious cars and wearing expensive watches may cause people, especially the young, to spend a large amount of money on
products
 that they do not need. In conclusion, I agree that
advertisements
 are made to help the human. So, it is necessary to filter them and choose
products
 that are useful for one’s life.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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relevant specific examples
Expand on the examples provided to support your points more comprehensively. Including specific examples will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using linking words and varying sentence structures aids in readability and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
Despite having a conclusion, consider restating your main points with slightly more detail. Reinforce your perspective consistently to leave a stronger closing impact.
complete response
Good attempt at presenting both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes a clear introduction and a concise conclusion that outlines your opinion, which is crucial for task completion.
logical structure
The overall structure of the essay is logical and clear, making it easy to follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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