IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that high taxes are necessary so that the government will have enough money to provide good public services for the population. However, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #taxes #government #money #services #population
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Nowadays, some
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
 feel that high
taxes
 are necessary so that the
government
 will have
enogh
Correct your spelling
enough
money
 to
give
Verb problem
provide
show examples
exellent
Correct your spelling
excellent
 public
services
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
However
, some
people
 disagree with
this
 statement. I will discuss my
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
 on the matter. In
this
 era, most
family
Change to a plural noun
families
show examples
 declare that high
taxes
 are necessary so that the
government
 will have
enogh
Correct your spelling
enough
money
 to give good public
services
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
This
 is because a
lot
 of
people
 think that when they pay high
taxes
 to
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
, they hope will be given public
services
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 good. They are not realizing that there are most
people
 who do not have enough
money
 to pay high
taxes
.
For example
, when there are poor
people
 who do not have enough
money
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their daily life and
then
 they must pay high
taxes
 to
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
Therefore
, the first
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
 is not suitable to be realized because there are a
lot
 of low-income in
this
country
.
On the other hand
, others
is not concur
Change the verb form
do not concur
show examples
 with
this
 opinion.
This
 is because they know that there are a
lot
 of destitute
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 in
this
country
. The
government
 should pay attention
needy
Change preposition
to needy
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 in
this
country
. they must think how the steps to make a
lot
 of
society
 become the affluent family.
For instance
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 must
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
 a
lot
 of jobs
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
society
. they must
also
 provide a
lot
 of
train
Change to a plural noun
trains
show examples
 to enhance
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 skills.
Hance
Correct your spelling
Hence
show examples
,
firstly
 the
government
 must give a
lot
 of jobs to
society
And
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
then
, after the
people
 achieve a decent standard of living, the
government
 can implement the requirement for
people
 to pay high
taxes
 so that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 can receive good public
services
. In conclusion, most
family
Change to a plural noun
families
show examples
 feel that
society
 must pay high
texas
Correct your spelling
taxes
show examples
 to get good public service, on the
ther
Correct your spelling
other
 hand, other
people
 disagree with
this
 opinion because there are a
lot
 of poor
people
 in
this
country
.
Submitted by akbarsurya264 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve sentence construction and avoid repetitive phrases to enhance readability.
task achievement
Ensure all arguments are clearly explained and supported with specific examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Revise for grammatical and spelling errors, especially words like 'enogh' and 'society', to ensure the essay is polished.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively included both an introduction and a conclusion, which frame your discussion well.
task achievement
Your essay attempts to balance both perspectives before presenting a concluded view.
task achievement
The intention to discuss the financial impact of taxes on different income groups is a valuable point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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