IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both there views and give your own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
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In recent years,
beeing
Correct your spelling
being
 professional
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 really
struggle
Wrong verb form
struggled
show examples
 for
people
Use synonyms
. Because becoming
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
 human
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 so much
decipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
 and time.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
professionals
Use synonyms
 should
work
Use synonyms
 in a
country
Use synonyms
 where they graduated
while
Linking Words
 others think that
professionals
Use synonyms
 can
work
Use synonyms
 wherever they want. Both opinions have some benefits but from my point of view,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professionals
Use synonyms
 should
work
Use synonyms
 in another
country
Use synonyms
 if they have
this
Linking Words
 pleasure. First of all, working in a
country
Use synonyms
 where
complated
Correct your spelling
completed
complete
 their training as professional has some benefits. The most important advantage is that when experts,
such
Linking Words
 as doctors,
work
Use synonyms
 in their own
finished
Replace the word
finish
show examples
 training
country
Use synonyms
, they don't feel like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stranger
Fix the agreement mistake
strangers
show examples
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they already have gotten used to
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
together with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 culture and
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
professionals
Use synonyms
 learn a perspective about their jobs from their mentors. So, ıf they
work
Use synonyms
 same
country
Use synonyms
, they don't hard about their occupations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they don't need to learn another language if they
work
Use synonyms
 same
country
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can focus
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 branches rather than learning
language
Add an article
the language
a language
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working
another
Change preposition
in another
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 may cause a lot of good
apportunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
. If
people
Use synonyms
 who have a profession go to another
country
Use synonyms
for working
Change preposition
to work
show examples
, they can gain so much experience and views.
This
Linking Words
 situation
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 their career. After that, they can find better jobs and
apportunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.
Furthermor
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, probably they earn
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 income in other countries rather than
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 own
country
Use synonyms
's works. If we look different perspective, when
people
Use synonyms
 who have professional jobs learn
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
langueage
Correct your spelling
language
for working
Change preposition
to work
show examples
another
Change preposition
in another
show examples
country
Use synonyms
, they can research
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their branches
easier
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
 than before.
To sum up
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professionals
Use synonyms
 should
work
Use synonyms
 wherever they
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduate
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
, it seems to me that it is more useful for professional
people
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 in different countries than in the same
country
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by yito18750 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, cite cases or scenarios where professionals have gained significant experience working abroad that benefited their careers.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more linking words or phrases to smoothly transition between ideas or paragraphs.
general language
Revise your essay for language inaccuracies and spelling errors to ensure clarity. For example, the words 'beeing,' 'decipline,' and 'apportunities' should be corrected to 'being,' 'discipline,' and 'opportunities,' respectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You've addressed both perspectives in the discussion, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
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