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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the plans below shows a harbour in 2002 and how it looks today. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparaisons where relevant.

#plans #harbour #summarise #information #features #comparaisons
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he
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The
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two
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 maps illustrate the
harbour
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 city, the first
one
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 reveals how the
harbour
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 looked like for approximately a decade. The other
one
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 shows the
harbour
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 structure nowadays. In 2000, there was a main road which lies in the west to the land of the
harbour
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,
this
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 road is connected to
two
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 car parking and a place for showering.
In addition
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, there were
two
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 public beaches
one
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 located in the high north and the other
one
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 situated on the south. Recently there have been many
changes
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 in the map but the most main
changes
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 that additional to the
last
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 layout, there were
two
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 showers and toilets
instead
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 of
one
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 only.
Although
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, there is a zone for cafes and shops.
Moreover
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, about the beaches, there is a slide of
changes
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 the
one
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 in the north remains public, despite, the
one
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 located down south having been privatized.
Overall
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, there are several
changes
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 that have happened to the town throughout the period, but the main
changes
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 were the exceed to the shower and toilets,
additionally
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, the privatized beach lies near the hotel.
Submitted by llaallaa35 on

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task achievement
Provide a clearer overview in the introduction, mentioning the time frames accurately: 2002 and today.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by ensuring that each paragraph naturally follows from the previous one, and transitions are smooth.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and redundancy in phrases like 'the most main changes'. Focus on being concise and precise.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples when describing changes, rather than just stating there are changes, explain what those changes are in detail, such as the exact location of new structures.
task achievement
The essay correctly identifies changes in the harbour from 2000 to the present.
coherence cohesion
Uses overall statements effectively to summarize changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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