IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Media coverage of violent crime frightens people and encourages criminals. Some people say it should be banned from newspapers and TV programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Today, the
media
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 has a big influence on society.
News
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 reports often talk about violent crimes
such
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 as murders, attacks, and robberies. Some
people
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 think
this
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 kind of
news
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 makes
people
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 feel scared and may even give criminals new ideas. In my opinion,
this
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 information should not be banned, but the way it is shown should be more careful. On the one hand, watching or reading violent
news
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 every day can cause fear and stress.
For example
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, some
people
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 may feel unsafe walking outside, even if their area is usually peaceful. Parents may worry more about their children, and elderly
people
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 may feel anxious.
Also
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, when the
media
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 gives a lot of attention to criminals, some
people
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 might try to copy them to get famous.
On the other hand
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, banning
this
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 type of
news
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 is not a good idea.
People
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 have the right to know what is happening in their cities and countries. If the
media
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 hides
this
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 information,
people
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 might not take serious situations seriously. It is
also
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 important for the
media
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 to show how the police catch criminals and how justice is done.
This
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 can help
people
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 feel safer and trust the system. In conclusion, I believe that the
media
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 should not be stopped from reporting violent crimes, but they should do it in a more responsible way. The focus should be on facts, not fear.

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task achievement
Ensure that main points are supported by more detailed examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the flow of your essay by using more varied linking words and phrases between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing your viewpoint.
task achievement
You present a balanced argument, discussing both sides of the issue, which is commendable in a discursive essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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