Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the enviroment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?
Deforestations
Fix the agreement mistake
Deforestation
are
massive around the world. In order to stop them, earth citizens must work hand in hand to find comprehensive solutions. I argue, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
there
are three aspects that Correct word choice
that there
head
of Fix the agreement mistake
heads
states
must give attention to.
Fix the agreement mistake
state
First,
economic
sector is the most important part of Add an article
the economic
policy making
regarding deforestation. Add a hyphen
policy-making
For example
, it is very unrealistic for developing countries
where the logging are
more massive to stop their activities since those activities bring revenue to them. Change the verb form
is
Therefore
, there must be some insentives
as alternatives for developing Correct your spelling
incentives
incentive
countries
to gain money other than from logging.
Second,
politically the develop
Wrong verb form
developed
countries
always blame developing and underdeveloped countries
as the bad parties. While
Correct word choice
On
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
countries
is
the massive Change the verb form
are
consummers
Correct your spelling
consumers
from
deforestation products Change preposition
of
such
as toilet paper. There is
must be some adjustment on the playing field of environment Unnecessary verb
apply
assesment
.
Correct your spelling
assessment
Third,
there must be a global concept yet local
concept regarding the efforts to prevent Correct article usage
a local
further
tree cuttings. Every corner of this
world needs to act accordingly
to keep our forest save
but with local wisdom and ways. Replace the word
safe
For example
, we must use different approach
to convince Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
people
in Papua with their nomaden
culture compared to Correct your spelling
nomadic
people
in New York who live
in urban cities their entire Wrong verb form
have lived
life
. We could assure Papua Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
to not always moving
and Wrong verb form
move
cutting
Wrong verb form
cut
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
everytime
they Replace the word
every time
finished
their harvest time. Wrong verb form
finish
While
to people
of New Correct article usage
the people
York
it is better to educate them Add a comma
York,
to
Change preposition
on
minimal
use of paper.
Correct article usage
the minimal
As
Change preposition
In
a
conclusion, the world Correct article usage
apply
need
to work together by considering Change the verb form
needs
economy
and political domain but Add an article
the economy
also
make
Wrong verb form
making
a
Correct article usage
apply
executeable
policies.Correct your spelling
executable
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task achievement
Ensure the main points are uniformly supported with relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving the transition between ideas to make your essay more cohesive.
task achievement
It might be beneficial to elaborate more on the conclusion for a stronger finish.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure.
logical structure
Main ideas are logically structured and covered sufficiently.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay covers the topic from multiple perspectives, which is a strong attempt at a comprehensive response.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.