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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph below shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2005.

The graph below shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2005.
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The bar chart
define
Change the verb form
defines
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 information about how many people visited
museums
Correct article usage
the museums
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 of Met in New
york
Capitalize word
York
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, Edo in Tokyo and National in
China
Use synonyms
 over a five-year period.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is that there was a gradual but significant rise in the number of National in
China
Use synonyms
 and Met in
newyork
Correct your spelling
New York
visitors
Use synonyms
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 the number of
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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visitors
Use synonyms
was belonged
Change to the active voice
belonged
has belonged
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 to
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
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 in
China
Use synonyms
. If we look at the first three years of National
museum
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 in
China
Use synonyms
, we can see that there was a steady upward to around 9milion in 2002. At which point, in 2003 and 2004 the figure levelled off and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
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after that the graph massively resurged in 2005, it remarkably increased to around 16milion and being a peak of the figure at
this
Linking Words
 stage.
Regards
Verb problem
Visitors
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visitors
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
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Met
Correct article usage
the Met
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Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
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 in New
york
Capitalize word
York
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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started at
12milion
Correct your spelling
12 million
visitors
Use synonyms
 which it meant that it was far higher than National
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museum
Capitalize word
Museum
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visitors
Use synonyms
 in
China
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. Despite falling dramatically in 2001 to 6milion, it levelled off for the next two years.
Next
Add a comma
Next,
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 there was a steady rise in the
last
Linking Words
 three years of
period
Correct article usage
the period
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 and it finished at approximately 14milion which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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meant that it was significantly less than National
visitors
Use synonyms
 in
China
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. With respect
of
Change preposition
to
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 Edo’s
visitors
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 in Tokyo in 2000 and 2001 the figure was stabled at around 14milion which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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meant that Edo’s
visitors
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 far higher than National
visitors
Use synonyms
 in
China
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
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first
Add an article
the first
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 place.
However
Linking Words
, it considerably decreased to around 6milion in 2003 before rising to
10milion
Correct your spelling
10 million
 in 2005 which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
meant that it was remarkably lower than National and Met
visitors
Use synonyms
, respectively.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words china, visitors, museum, milion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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