IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring more advantages or disadvantages ?

#home #hands #machines
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Nowadays, a lot of
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
 is done by
machines
Use synonyms
 opposite past
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
many
things
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was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 done by hand. Using
machines
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 many advantages and
people
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 can create
Linking Words
additionally
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additional
show examples
time
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 and don’t get tired a lot.
Firstly
Linking Words
, using some electron devices
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
comfortablety
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comfort
 and
flexiblety
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flexibility
 for humans. There are many
works
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 in
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home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
,
for instance
Linking Words
 washing clothes,
plates
Correct word choice
and plates
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, cleaning carpets and other
things
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.
During solve
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While solving
show examples
 these
things
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people
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 lose a lot of
time
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 and their daily hours decrease.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
machines
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 do these
works
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easly
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easily
 and in
short
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a short
show examples
time
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, so
people
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 can get
time
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 and can themselves other
things
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.
According to
Linking Words
 Uber
researceh
Correct your spelling
research
, employers are late often
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 they don’t have
washmaschine
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wash machines
 at
homes
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home
show examples
.
Second
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The second
show examples
 important thing is losing energy and having
injures
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injuries
show examples
.
People
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 often face some pains doing
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
. These pains derive
hard
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from hard
show examples
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and more work
times
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time
show examples
.
People
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works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 many
diffirent
Correct your spelling
different
 jobs when they come back
home
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that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they must do other
things
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 at
home
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.
Therefore
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 their health system and mental
situtation
Correct your spelling
situation
 are affected by other
works
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.
Instead
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of
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
machines
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 complete these tasks for
people
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.For
UN
Correct article usage
the UN
show examples
, in
Nigeria
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Nigeria,
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 60% of women have
injures
Replace the word
injuries
show examples
 in
chest
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the chest
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 washing clothes. In
conculasion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, electronic devices which do many
works
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 support
people
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. For
it
Add a comma
it,
show examples
people
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 can gain and create
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 for themselves and
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 children. Workers can free other
home
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works
Use synonyms
 and protect their health system.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct point. For example, one paragraph could focus solely on the time-saving aspect, while another addresses health benefits. This will make your essay more organized and easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or statistics to support your points. For instance, mentioning a well-known study or report can strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
It’s important to address both advantages and disadvantages to fully explore the topic. While you have mentioned many advantages, consider briefly discussing potential disadvantages to provide a balanced view.
task achievement
You’ve effectively addressed the key advantages of using machines over manual labour in homes.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay covers multiple aspects of the topic, giving a broad view of its implications.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • domestic help
  • smart home technologies
  • energy-efficient
  • resource depletion
  • over-dependence
  • external services
  • maintenance
  • replacements
  • leisure activities
  • tedious tasks
What to do next:
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