Some people think that the government should provide assistance to all kinds of artists including painters, musicians, poets. However, other people think that is a waste of money for providing this assistance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Art and

artists

Use synonyms

significantly shape culture and society,

while

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

fostering innovation and creativity. A group of individuals believe that the authorities should assist these

artists

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others opine that the funds invested in them will be useless. Both views shall be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs before I provide my own opinion in the concluding paragraph. To commence with, at the current time, a lot of talented

artists

Use synonyms

refuse to choose a career in the field of arts

due to

Linking Words

economic factors regardless of having enough skills. Providing them with enough funds and facilities will inspire them and motivate them to not quit.

For instance

Linking Words

, authority can help these talents with sufficient money if they meet certain requirements and criteria.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, numerous

artists

Use synonyms

will take inspiration from the

government

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

talented folks and eventually, it will create a positive image of the

government

Use synonyms

in society.

However

Linking Words

, the risk of misuse of facilities provided by the

government

Use synonyms

could be a concerning factor. As there will be no one to monitor what will happen with the money provided by the authority.

For instance

Linking Words

, fake

artists

Use synonyms

will

also

Linking Words

benefit from

this

Linking Words

development and they might misuse the money offered to another place.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the nation has other far more important concerns where the support of the

government

Use synonyms

is far more essential. So the first and foremost priority should be provided to them not the

artists

Use synonyms

. To cite an example, problems

such

Linking Words

as poverty, and the construction of railways and roads require much more attention and funds.

To sum up

Linking Words

, in my perspective the aid and facilities

Change preposition

for

show examples

talented

artists

Use synonyms

should be provided to help them but to a certain extent

Linking Words

otherwise

Add a comma

otherwise,

show examples

it could be misused.

vishank.chauhan19504Thu Sep 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, work on developing clearer connections between ideas. Using transitional phrases and making sure each paragraph flows logically to the next can help.

task achievement

In terms of task achievement, make sure to provide examples that are more detailed and directly related to the point being made. This can help in making your arguments more convincing.

task achievement

Try to expand the discussion on the potential misuse of funds and provide more specific suggestions on how such issues could be mitigated. This would strengthen your argument and demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Ensure you proofread your essay for minor grammatical and syntactical errors to improve clarity and comprehension.

structure

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid framework for the discussion.

task achievement

You presented both viewpoints effectively and provided a balanced discussion before stating your own opinion.

task achievement

Your argument about the economic challenges faced by artists and the potential misuse of funds were well-reasoned and contributed to the overall discussion.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

285 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?
Nowadays many countries are chasing conflicts due to ecological damage which is occurring due to the abundant use of fossil fuels, accumulation of population and cutting down of forests and this can be addressed through the implementation of the following approaches.
7.5
band
Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not in others. Some people therefore think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?
People have different opinions that the government should pay tutor fees for students whose majors are needed by society. Additionally, those whose majors are less relevant should not receive government funding. In my view, I do not believe the advantages of the educational policy outweigh the disadvantages, I will discuss the reasons for this viewpoint in this essay.
6
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
Nowadays, some people tend to understand the meaning of the house where they live . It is because people in some countries prefer to research the history of the whole society. In the following essay, I will explore more relative reasons and the methods of finding out the history behind our lives.
6
band
Some people believe that immigration brings huge risks into developed countries and should be strongly restricted. Others think it is necessary for these countries’ economy. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Immigration is a controversial subject nowadays. Especially we are living in global era . In this essay, I shall elaborate on also I shall reveal my point of view according to this issue.
6
band
A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Many countries depend on tourists to provide essential financial income. However, poor management in this field is rising gradually, a situation that makes several populations argue that the negative consequences of travel are more prominent than the positive impact. I do not agree that the disadvantages of tourist trips outweigh the advantages, this essay will discuss both positivities and negativities and outline the reasons behind my opinion.

Some people think that the government should provide assistance to all kinds of artists including painters, musicians, poets. However, other people think that is a waste of money for providing this assistance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?