Some people think that the government should provide assistance to all kinds of artists including painters, musicians, poets. However, other people think that is a waste of money for providing this assistance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Art and
artists
significantly shape culture and society, while
also
fostering innovation and creativity. A group of individuals believe that the authorities should assist these artists
while
others opine that the funds invested in them will be useless. Both views shall be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs before I provide my own opinion in the concluding paragraph.
To commence with, at the current time, a lot of talented artists
refuse to choose a career in the field of arts due to
economic factors regardless of having enough skills. Providing them with enough funds and facilities will inspire them and motivate them to not quit. For instance
, authority can help these talents with sufficient money if they meet certain requirements and criteria. Furthermore
, numerous artists
will take inspiration from the government
as well as
talented folks and eventually, it will create a positive image of the government
in society.
However
, the risk of misuse of facilities provided by the government
could be a concerning factor. As there will be no one to monitor what will happen with the money provided by the authority. For instance
, fake artists
will also
benefit from this
development and they might misuse the money offered to another place. Additionally
, the nation has other far more important concerns where the support
of the government
is far more essential. So the first and foremost priority should be provided to them not the artists
. To cite an example, problems such
as poverty, and the construction of railways and roads require much more attention and funds.
To sum up
, in my perspective the aid and facilities to
talented Change preposition
for
artists
should be provided to help them but to a certain extent otherwise
it could be misused.Add a comma
otherwise,
Submitted by vishank.chauhan19504 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on developing clearer connections between ideas. Using transitional phrases and making sure each paragraph flows logically to the next can help.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, make sure to provide examples that are more detailed and directly related to the point being made. This can help in making your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Try to expand the discussion on the potential misuse of funds and provide more specific suggestions on how such issues could be mitigated. This would strengthen your argument and demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure you proofread your essay for minor grammatical and syntactical errors to improve clarity and comprehension.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid framework for the discussion.
task achievement
You presented both viewpoints effectively and provided a balanced discussion before stating your own opinion.
task achievement
Your argument about the economic challenges faced by artists and the potential misuse of funds were well-reasoned and contributed to the overall discussion.