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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Writer letter in enrolment of advanced computer course

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Dear Sir, I am writing to express my interest in enrolling in the Advanced Computer Course from your esteemed organization. I proposed
about
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
 learning from your official website. I am particularly impressed by its comprehensive curriculum which
align
Change the verb form
aligns
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 with my career goals
in
Change preposition
as
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Data
Correct article usage
a Data
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 Analyst.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I have
strong
Add an article
a strong
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 foundation of knowledge in
this
Linking Words
 field of study as I have been employed at “Zwide Softwares” for
past
Correct article usage
the past
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 7 years.
Additionally
Linking Words
, to flourish my insights in deeper understanding, I would like to partake in
Correct article usage
an advance
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advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 level of programming and data science.
Linking Words
While
Correct word choice
apply
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I successfully completed my
beginners
Fix the agreement mistake
beginner
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 level in the two-year diploma from the reputed University of Toronto in 2020.
As a result
Linking Words
, I want to enhance my technical skills by the study of expert-level
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
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. Could you please provide me
more
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with more
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 information about the admission fees, duration of
this
Linking Words
 program, availability of slots in
evening
Correct article usage
the evening
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 batch and any specific requirements
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 I am ready to adhere to all guidelines given by you. I look forward
for
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to
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 your positive response. Thank you for your time and consideration. Yours faithfully, Sarab

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed information about your motivations and how the course aligns with your future career plans.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs have a clear single focus to further enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a well-organized structure with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The tone is formal and polite, suitable for a letter of this nature.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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