Nowadays newspapers publish information about private lives of individuals. Some people think the government should maintain certain control over the information that gets published, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#newspapers #information #lives #individuals #people #government #control

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Newspaper

Fix the agreement mistake

Newspapers

show examples

nowadays have been posting personal information about civilians without their

constance

Change the capitalization

Constance

constant

show examples

and by

that

Add a comma

that,

show examples

many feel that

this

Linking Words

is getting out of hand and the government should restrict that .

For example

Linking Words

, publishing pictures of houses including their location

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

been an easy target for theft and crimes.

In addition

Linking Words

, to

that

Add a comma

that,

show examples

the number of criminals

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

been increasing due

that

Change preposition

to that

show examples

. I firmly believe that having laws

according to

Linking Words

what

newspaper

Fix the agreement mistake

newspapers

show examples

are able to publish is highly recommended it can protect people's private

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

including their details

in addition

Linking Words

, to that things that are easily reached.

For example

Linking Words

, Bill Gates

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

shared how he lost approximately one million because of the media and how his

identity

Add the auxiliary verb

identity has

show examples

been exposed ,

Correct word choice

and he

show examples

had to sell his private land .

However

Linking Words

, some individuals feel its

conversely

Linking Words

that identity and pictures can lead to

such

Linking Words

crimes.

This

Linking Words

statement

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

made few people understand the

improtance

Correct your spelling

importance

of being private and easily

accessabile

Correct your spelling

accessible

For instance

Linking Words

, I think before publishing anything about anyone ,

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

should do a survey or just ask

this

Linking Words

individual

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

if he agrees or

disagree

Change the verb form

disagrees

show examples

wheith it is okay to publish or

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

. In conclusion, I have

to conclude

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

with

Change preposition

that

show examples

privacy is important and hard to achieve in

this

Linking Words

centuary

Correct your spelling

century

however

Linking Words

, it wouldn't hurt to try so.

Submitted by dr.hessahaljalahma on Sun Dec 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Try to organize your ideas more clearly by creating clear paragraphs for each main point. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.

introduction conclusion present

Make sure to include a clear introduction that outlines the main points that you will discuss in your essay.

supported main points

Provide stronger support for your main points by explaining your examples in more detail. This will strengthen your argument and help achieve task success.

introduction conclusion present

You have introduced the topic well and presented both views on the issue.

relevant specific examples

You have included relevant examples such as the Bill Gates example, which helps in illustrating your points.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

219 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?
In the contemporary era, it is irrefutable that elderly people have little chance to get the same careers as younger age groups. Thus, this paramount issue become one of the global problems that require possible solutions.
<4
band
«Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. Others argue that this money should be spent for sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.»
for a long time ago sports have big impact for a country esspecially athletes compentetion. hence it is debatable whether govermonts sholud spend the money for top athletes or for sport facilities. personally I stand with the second one and this essay will discuss both sides.
5
band
Some people state that in the period of developed IT, it is normal for teenagers to spend a lot of time on such modern gadgets as smart phones and laptops, while others say that it is a bad habit with negative consequences. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
in this modern world, students are tremendously using advanced technology-based gadgets such as cell phones and computers which is normal to some people, whilst others say that it is harmful for youngsters as they spend a long time on them. in this essay, I will explore both views by focusing on some vital points and stating my personal opinion.
6.5
band
You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer
I am writing to let you know that I have some problems with the room arrangement. I have recently been assigned room 309 on the second floor in Kalpana hostel. As you know, this is a double sharing accommodation and my roommate is from the Pharmacy course.
6.5
band
"Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? (Reported 2017, 2018, 2020, 2021)"
These days, many parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. This is because of increased competition, society's expectations, and the desire for a better future. However, this pressure can have both positive and negative effects.

Nowadays newspapers publish information about private lives of individuals. Some people think the government should maintain certain control over the information that gets published, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

«Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. Others argue that this money should be spent for sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.»

Some people state that in the period of developed IT, it is normal for teenagers to spend a lot of time on such modern gadgets as smart phones and laptops, while others say that it is a bad habit with negative consequences. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

"Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? (Reported 2017, 2018, 2020, 2021)"