IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Wild animals have no use in the 21 century and trying to preserve animals now is just wastage of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with question

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Introduction
Some
people
Use synonyms
 are interested
wild
Change preposition
in wild
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 and they deal with wild
animal
Change the noun form
animals
show examples
 like
tiger
Fix the agreement mistake
tigers
show examples
 or
spider
Fix the agreement mistake
spiders
show examples
. But
this
Linking Words
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
wastage
Correct article usage
a wastage
show examples
 of money.
For example
Linking Words
 ,someone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a lion in her/his house.
People
Use synonyms
 must
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 a lot of money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the lion. These are
people
Use synonyms
 that they see a as hobby. They don't think any gain
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
.
Body paragraph 1
In my opinion ,wild
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 should live in their natural life. They
don't
Verb problem
aren't
show examples
suite
Correct your spelling
suited
show examples
 for
in house
Add a hyphen
in-house
show examples
, even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 provide a suitable shelter .Wild
animals
Use synonyms
 are dangerous for
people
Use synonyms
 and
people
Use synonyms
 can't prevent instantly
sitution
Correct your spelling
situation
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
people
Use synonyms
sould
Correct your spelling
should
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not feed wild
animals
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
Before
people
Use synonyms
 live with wild
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
.They
known
Add a missing verb
were known
show examples
 to act
of
Change preposition
like
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 and
antique
Correct word choice
ancient
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 prevented
theirself
Correct your spelling
herself
their self
 and lived in the cave. They produced
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knifes
Correct your spelling
knives
show examples
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
guns and used
for
Correct pronoun usage
them for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wild
animals
Use synonyms
.Sometimes antique
people
Use synonyms
 take advantage of wild
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 ride on their and during war
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
as
Correct pronoun usage
them as
show examples
gun
Fix the agreement mistake
guns
show examples
.
Body paragraph 3
But now,
this
Linking Words
 situation is not suitable for
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
21
Correct your spelling
21st
 century.
Body paragraph 4
These day
Change the determiner
This day
These days
show examples
, especially rich
people
Use synonyms
 want to show
theirself
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
Correct article usage
an increadible
show examples
increadible
Correct your spelling
incredible
incredibly
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
. They buy
lion
Correct article usage
a lion
show examples
 or tiger and keep or
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 in their garden a shelter.But feeding a big animal is very expensive because they can eat only
meet
Correct your spelling
meat
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
necessary
Add a missing verb
is necessary
show examples
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
big budget .
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
,rich
people
Use synonyms
 use
this
Linking Words
 way as
show
Correct article usage
a show
show examples
.
Conclusion
In summary , wild
animals
Use synonyms
 have no use these days .They should live in
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 use
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 order to show
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the wild animal.

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coherence
Improve logical flow by better organizing paragraphs. For example, discuss the disadvantages of keeping wild animals first, followed by alternatives or benefits of preserving them.
structure
Ensure that your essay has clear paragraphs. Use each paragraph to express a single idea with supporting evidence.
task-achievement
Develop your main points with more detail. It is important to explore deeper reasons why preserving wild animals could be beneficial or problematic.
task-response
The essay has shown an understanding of the topic by mentioning the idea of cost and danger involved in keeping wild animals.
relevant-examples
Use of specific examples like having a lion in a house illustrates your point about costs and impracticality.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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