IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Write a letter to the singer. In your letter: -say how you feel about his/her performance -give details of your music related activities -explain how you would like him/her to help you with your music-related activities

#singer #-say #performance #-give #music #activities #-explain
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Dear Sir, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I am writing
this
 letter to let you know that I am
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 fan of your singing skills. I have been following and admiring your talent for a long time. In my viewpoint, you have outperformed other singers with your deep sense of knowledge and choice of
music
, which certainly, helped you to grow in your career. I
also
 look at singing as a future career option.
Therefore
, I have been learning
music
 since I was six years old.
Furthermore
, I took part in a few singing
competition
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 and managed to do well in them.
Moreover
, I
also
 have learnt Classic Indian and Western
music
 from professional teachers.
Last
 month, I came to know that you have started your own
music
 academy, where you train budding
music
 artists.
Hence
, it would be great for me to learn under your guidance, because
this
 would help me to learn the skills that you have.
Therefore
, I urge you to teach me by accepting me as your student. I hope you will give
a
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positive feedback and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Jatinder.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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task achievement
In order to further enhance task achievement, add more specific details about your music-related activities or future aspirations.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by connecting ideas with linking words to show the relationship between them.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a clear structure with an appropriate greeting and closing.
task achievement
The writing tone is perfectly suitable for a formal letter to a singer, exhibiting respect and enthusiasm.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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