In some countries ordinary citizens are allowed to keep a gun in their house. Some people think this is a good idea, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In recent years, there has been a high rate of crime in big cities. In some nations, individuals are allowed to own a

handgun

Use synonyms

on their property. Many community suggest

this

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is a good idea,

while

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others disagree. Both of these viewpoints will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached.

To begin

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with, I totally agree with

this

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viewpoint and suggest that owning a pistol can

also

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bring many benefits. The most important thing about having a

handgun

Use synonyms

is self-defence.

For example

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, many populations who keep a

handgun

Use synonyms

in their accommodations can protect themselves from crime.

Secondly

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, the urban area has a more dangerous environment. Many communities are more at risk of staying in big cities.

Furthermore

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, some society who own guns feel comfortable when they live at home. They can protect themselves and someone they love.

However

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, some community suggest that having a revolver can lead to violence.

For instance

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, if some people have a gun, it has the potential for misuse.

In addition

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, it increases the number of accidental deaths caused by guns

Moreover

Linking Words

firearm

Use synonyms

owners can escalate conflicts and be dangerous to others.

Lastly

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, owning a

firearm

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can increase expenditures

such

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as trainer costs and equipment for the

handgun

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages to keeping a

firearm

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on property. The main feature is personal protection.

However

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, owning a

handgun

Use synonyms

can increase the gun-related death rate.

Besides

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this

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, the government should release law enforcement for having a

firearm

Use synonyms

to protect other people who are non-gun owners.

alisa.chuaypaladThu Nov 30 2023

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Task Achievement

Ensure that your essay has a clear position throughout the response. Your essay should also include a balanced discussion of both views, and avoid taking a unilateral stance early on as this has affected the clarity and neutrality expected in the discussion.

Task Achievement

Maintain a neutral and objective tone throughout the essay. Avoid using informal language or colloquial expressions that could compromise the formality of the essay and affect your score in task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay structure needs improvement. It is good that an introduction and conclusion are present, but the main points could be better developed. Each main point should be presented in a separate paragraph with sufficient support. Ensure that each paragraph is well-organized and the main idea is clear from the first sentence.

Coherence and Cohesion

More varied and complex sentence structures, as well as transitional phrases, should be used to improve the logical flow of ideas. This will help your essay to achieve higher coherence and cohesion. Ensure you also check for repetition or redundancy, which can detract from the overall cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

bear arms
self-defense
deterrence
constitutional rights
Second Amendment (USA-specific)
firearm regulations
gun control
background checks
gun-related accidents
homicide rates
law enforcement
public safety
concealed carry permit
responsible ownership
mental health screening
amendment rights
gun violence
firearm training

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In some countries ordinary citizens are allowed to keep a gun in their house. Some people think this is a good idea, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Some people think High school graduate to travel or work for a period of time. Instead of going directly to study at university, discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both a protest. Give reason for your answer in include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Topic: Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. Task: what are the advantages and disadvantages of children playing computer games?

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There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification Discuss both these views and give your own opinion