In some countries ordinary citizens are allowed to keep a gun in their house. Some people think this is a good idea, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction

In recent years, there has been a high rate of crime in big cities. In some nations, individuals are allowed to own a

handgun

Use synonyms

on their property. Many community suggest

this

Linking Words

is a good idea,

while

Linking Words

others disagree. Both of these viewpoints will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached.

Body paragraph 1

To begin

Linking Words

with, I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

viewpoint and suggest that owning a pistol can

also

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bring many benefits. The most important thing about having a

handgun

Use synonyms

is self-defence.

For example

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, many populations who keep a

handgun

Use synonyms

in their accommodations can protect themselves from crime.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the urban area has a more dangerous environment. Many communities are more at risk of staying in big cities.

Furthermore

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, some society who own guns feel comfortable when they live at home. They can protect themselves and someone they love.

Body paragraph 2

However

Linking Words

, some community suggest that having a revolver can lead to violence.

For instance

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, if some people have a gun, it has the potential for misuse.

In addition

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, it increases the number of accidental deaths caused by guns

Moreover

Linking Words

firearm

Use synonyms

owners can escalate conflicts and be dangerous to others.

Lastly

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, owning a

firearm

Use synonyms

can increase expenditures

such

Linking Words

as trainer costs and equipment for the

handgun

Use synonyms

Conclusion

In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages to keeping a

firearm

Use synonyms

on property. The main feature is personal protection.

However

Linking Words

, owning a

handgun

Use synonyms

can increase the gun-related death rate.

Besides

Linking Words

this

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, the government should release law enforcement for having a

firearm

Use synonyms

to protect other people who are non-gun owners.

alisa.chuaypalad

Nov 30, 2023

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Task Achievement

Ensure that your essay has a clear position throughout the response. Your essay should also include a balanced discussion of both views, and avoid taking a unilateral stance early on as this has affected the clarity and neutrality expected in the discussion.

Task Achievement

Maintain a neutral and objective tone throughout the essay. Avoid using informal language or colloquial expressions that could compromise the formality of the essay and affect your score in task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay structure needs improvement. It is good that an introduction and conclusion are present, but the main points could be better developed. Each main point should be presented in a separate paragraph with sufficient support. Ensure that each paragraph is well-organized and the main idea is clear from the first sentence.

Coherence and Cohesion

More varied and complex sentence structures, as well as transitional phrases, should be used to improve the logical flow of ideas. This will help your essay to achieve higher coherence and cohesion. Ensure you also check for repetition or redundancy, which can detract from the overall cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

bear arms
self-defense
deterrence
constitutional rights
Second Amendment (USA-specific)
firearm regulations
gun control
background checks
gun-related accidents
homicide rates
law enforcement
public safety
concealed carry permit
responsible ownership
mental health screening
amendment rights
gun violence
firearm training

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In some countries ordinary citizens are allowed to keep a gun in their house. Some people think this is a good idea, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people believe that planing for the future is a waste of time because they think that focusing on the present is more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

The quality of the health care a person receives should not depend on the size of their bank balance. The government is responsible for providing a high level of healthcare for all its citizens. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

2019-12-07: Task 1 You went on a trip and found that the guide was really helpful. Write a letter to the tour company manager. In your letter, you should: •describe the tour •tell what you liked about the tour guide •recommend manager ways/methods to appreciate the tour guide