IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many cities around the world are facing air pollution problems. Topic:What are the causes of the issue, and how can it be solved?

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In recent years, an increasing number of cities around the world have encountered
air
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 contamination issues. Motor
vehicles
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, industrial facilities, and forest fires are among the most common sources contributing to
this
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 growing problem.
However
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, I firmly believe that
this
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 issue can be effectively addressed by implementing strategies through a combination of government regulations, technological
advancements
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 and public
awareness
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 initiatives.
This
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 essay will examine the reason behind
air
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pollution
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 and suggest viable solutions. One of the major factors which contribute to
air
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 contamination is motor
vehicles
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.
This
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 issue arises from the increasing number of
vehicles
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 in cities, which emit harmful
pollution
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 into the atmosphere.These emissions, including carbon monoxide, nitrogen
dioxide
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, hydrocarbons, benzene, and formaldehyde, significantly degrade
air
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quality
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 and pose serious health risks to urban populations.
For instance
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, exposure to high levels of nitrogen
dioxide
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 can exacerbate respiratory diseases
such
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 as asthma,
while
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 benzene is a carcinogen that increases the risk of leukaemia. As urban populations grow, the density of traffic increases, leading to higher emissions and worsened
air
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quality
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.
Furthermore
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, another significant contributor to
air
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pollution
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 is industrial facilities, which release large amounts of harmful gases, and particles into the
air
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. Factories, power plants, and other industrial operations often burn fossil fuels, contributing to the emission of carbon
dioxide
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, sulfur
dioxide
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, and particulate matter. These pollutants not only degrade
air
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quality
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 but
also
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 contribute to climate change.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 issue can be tackled by implementing measures
such
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 as government regulations, technological
advancements
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 and public
awareness
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 initiatives. Governments play a crucial role by enforcing stricter environmental laws, promoting the use of clean technologies, and investing in sustainable urban planning. Technological
advancements
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,
such
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 as electric
vehicles
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, renewable energy, and
pollution
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-control systems, can significantly reduce harmful emissions.
Additionally
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, public
awareness
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 campaigns can educate citizens on the importance of reducing
pollution
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 and adopting greener lifestyles. By combining these approaches, we can effectively address
air
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pollution
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 and improve
air
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quality
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 for all. In conclusion,
while
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air
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pollution
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 from
vehicles
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 and industrial facilities poses significant challenges to urban environments and public health, it can be effectively mitigated through a combination of government regulations, technological
advancements
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, and public
awareness
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 initiatives. By promoting cleaner technologies
such
Linking Words
 as electric
vehicles
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, enforcing stricter emission standards, and encouraging industries to adopt more sustainable practices, we can reduce harmful pollutants in the
air
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. Public
awareness
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 campaigns can
further
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 empower individuals to make environmentally conscious decisions, creating a collective effort to combat
air
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pollution
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 and improve
air
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quality
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 for future generations.

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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing points more distinctly within paragraphs to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Try to use varied sentence structures to maintain reader engagement.
coherence cohesion
Examine the use of transitions to improve the flow of information between ideas.
task achievement
Offer a broader range of examples or elaborate on the ones you provided to exemplify your points effectively.
task achievement
Explore the potential impacts of public awareness campaigns in more detail.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the question by identifying key causes and offering specific solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay features a well-defined structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, enhancing overall readability.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported with logical reasoning and examples, strengthening the argument.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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