IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that school children should be given individual class work, while others think that working in small groups is better for them. Discuss both approaches and include your own opinion.

#people #school #children #class #work #groups #approaches
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School
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 important for students in order to master lessons given by their teacher. Many people say that individual
class
Correct your spelling
classwork
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 is better.
While
Linking Words
 the others prefer children to
work
Use synonyms
 in small groups. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will examine each of the arguments. Individual
class
Correct your spelling
classwork
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 will give pupils
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
 to excel individually. He or she has the
opportunities
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
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 to expand
its
Correct pronoun usage
his
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 abilities.
Teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
Teachers
show examples
 could
also
Linking Words
 examine a student's
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
show examples
 and
weakeness
Correct your spelling
weaknesses
. Every student has their own speciality. It is important to acknowledge
this
Linking Words
 uniqueness
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 years, in order to give
this
Linking Words
 child
Correct article usage
a chances
show examples
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
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 to develop his or her ability.
For example
Linking Words
, my little brother was very good in math,
while
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 I was very talented in art. Whenever we did our school
work
Use synonyms
 individually I would be seen excel in art,
while
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 my brother looked awesome in algebra. Individual class works had given us confidence and recognition so we
then
Linking Words
 pursued higher education
base
Wrong verb form
based
show examples
 on our talents. On the other
had
Correct your spelling
hand
show examples
, working in small
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some advantages.
This
Linking Words
 kind of
work
Use synonyms
 will train children
learning
Change the verb form
to learn
show examples
 how to communicate and cooperate. Those skills are very important for their entire life. It is
also
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 critical for children
mastering
Change the verb form
to master
show examples
 the skill of adaptation and socialisation
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 nowadays people
becomes
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
 more individualistic. My cousin is a good example. He was an only child. He was very smart but since he went to homeschooling since elementary level, he had become very egoistic which
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 him difficulties in his adult years. I personally prefer to
work
Use synonyms
 individually. It creates a huge room of creativity for me to explore.
However
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, I argue that it is better to combine those two approaches. There are areas where students should
work
Use synonyms
 individually, but in other
areas
Add a comma
areas,
show examples
theys
Correct your spelling
they
 should
work
Use synonyms
together with
Linking Words
 their peers.
Submitted by edna.c.pattisina on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main arguments. Consider using topic sentences to clarify the focus.
task achievement
Make sure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Specifically, discuss both approaches in more detail.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to fully support your points, expanding them to sustain the main argument.
task achievement
The essay successfully presents both sides of the argument, discussing individual and group work.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, framing the discussion well and offering your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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