**Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television.** **To what extent do you agree or disagree?**
A majority of
individauls
strongly believe that watching a Correct your spelling
individuals
live
performance
such
as a play.
concertAdd a missing verb
is.
,
or sporting Remove the comma
apply
event
is more enjoyable than watching the same event
on television
. From my personal perspective, I agree to a certain extent to
the given statement. Change preposition
with
However
, there are some issues to be considered. Both sides will be examined in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that there are numurous
beneficial aspects associated with watching a Correct your spelling
numerous
live
performance
. The primary and crucial is that people
can get better vibes and new experiences. In other words
, they can see everything that happens with they
real eyes. Another positive key factor is that a Correct pronoun usage
their
live
performance
can creates
Change the verb form
create
Correct article usage
a communitiy
communitiy
, which brings Correct your spelling
community
people
who loved
the same things to come Wrong verb form
love
in
the same places. Change preposition
to
For
this
reason, it can contribute to improve social social skills and encourage social interaction. People
, for instance
, have new friends from going to tennis events.
On the contrary
, although
there are some favourable aspects of going to a live
performance
, several benefits associated
with watching the Add a missing verb
are associated
event
on television
. The initial and most obvious one is that individuals do not have to lose
Verb problem
waste
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
time
. This
is due to
the fact that people
must provide time
at least 1 hour before starting time
, it a
general rule. Saving money and Add a missing verb
is a
more
comfortable are the Add a missing verb
being more
last
benefit
to be taken into account. Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
Therefore
, television
is the best option to decrease money. Additionally
, some places that held the events are not design
for universal design on the grounds that some Change the verb form
are not designed
persons
have Replace the word
people
hard
Add an article
a hard
time
to get
there.
In conclusion, even though there are some advantages of watching the Change the verb form
getting
event
on television
, I hold the view that watching to
a Change preposition
apply
live
performance
out weigh
them. If Correct your spelling
outweigh
individauls
going a Correct your spelling
individuals
live
performance
, it is almost certain, they will get new experiences and have new friends.Submitted by t.shetthong on
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task achievement
Make sure to answer all parts of the task clearly and fully. While you've addressed both sides, including more specific examples and thorough reasoning would enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on maintaining a consistent tone and style throughout the essay. Try to avoid abrupt transitions and ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
introduction and conclusion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid framework for your argument.
task achievement
You've considered both perspectives of the issue, which shows an understanding beyond just supporting your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with distinct paragraphs for different points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example