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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where the conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara deserts or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #deserts #antarctic #visit
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These days people prefer to visit unusual
places
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 for tourism with difficult conditions
such
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 as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. Experiencing
such
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 an adventure can have several advantages.
For instance
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, it can teach how to deal with challenges and overcome them.
However
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, there are disadvantages
as well as
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 benefits. Visiting these kinds of
places
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 can be very expensive, and can
also
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 cause injuries. First of all, travelling to
places
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 like the Sahara deserts is an out-of-comfort zone thing for most people. It is believed that a man can only grow when he steps out of his comfort zone. Someone who travels to a place with extreme conditions will face many problems
due to
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 these conditions. These issues will challenge and force them to overcome them in order to survive and return home safely. For example, when I climbed the Agri mountain, I developed a mechanism for quick thinking in order to decide fast and efficiently.
However
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, there is no guarantee that everyone can solve the problems they will face. Humans are prone to error, and in extreme
places
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, small mistakes can lead to injuries or even death.
Also
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, money is another problem. Expenses for these journeys might not be suitable for everyone.
For example
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, reaching the Antarctic requires special transportation,
while
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 exclusive clothes are needed for the Sahara desert.
To conclude
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, these travels can teach very important lessons that cannot be learned anywhere else. On the other side, they might be too expensive for many people.
Moreover
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, they contain high risks that require high caution and preparation.
Submitted by barisss1205 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each supporting point is followed by evidence or examples to further strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Expand on the disadvantages of visiting challenging destinations with more examples or analysis.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as climbing Mount Agri, were used to support points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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