When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that it is critical to plan the new towns carefully.
While
it is commonly held belief that having shopping centers Linking Words
are
important, there Correct subject-verb agreement
is
is
Change the verb form
are
also
arguments that building more parks or athletics Linking Words
facilities
Use synonyms
are
more crucial. In my opinion, I consider that building public gardens and Correct subject-verb agreement
is
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
are
more beneficial because it Correct subject-verb agreement
is
is improves
the quality of life and it increases the Change the verb form
improves
overall
well-being of the society.
Linking Words
To begin
with, it is important to have more public Linking Words
facilities
as they improve the quality of individuals' Use synonyms
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
In other words
, they offer green landscapes, which help Linking Words
people
to enjoy Use synonyms
during
Change preposition
apply
thier
free time, and Correct your spelling
their
also
they reduce Linking Words
stress
of work or life issues. Add an article
the stress
In addition
, to have more Linking Words
oben
places increase the happiness of the Correct your spelling
open
resiedence
. Correct your spelling
residence
residents
For instance
, recent research by the University of Prince Sultan has shown that 70% of individuals are more happy than when they Linking Words
where
living far away from more green spaces.
Another point to consider, building more parks and Correct your spelling
were
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
people
's well-being. Use synonyms
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
also
possible to say that Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
help Use synonyms
the
society to boost their time Correct article usage
apply
spending
on doing exercise during the week. Replace the word
spent
Furethermore
, more time Correct your spelling
Furthermore
spent
on physical activities that will enhance the Add a missing verb
is spent
overall
Linking Words
residents
health. Change to a genitive case
resident's
residents'
For example
, Linking Words
Linking Words
last
study by the University of Harvard has shown that doing 150 Change the article
the last
minitus
of Correct your spelling
minutes
sports
per week helps Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
body
to be more healthy.
In conclusion, despite Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
people
having different views, I believe that Use synonyms
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
more
green landscapes and athletic Change preposition
of more
facilities
Use synonyms
are
critical for the quality of Correct subject-verb agreement
is
residents
lives and they enhance Change noun form
residents'
resident's
overall
well-being.Linking Words
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grammar
Ensure consistency in verb tense and subject-verb agreement. For example, use 'have' instead of 'has' in some sentences if the subject plural.
content
Provide more specific examples or case studies to support your arguments, making the essay more compelling.
language
Clarify any vague statements, such as 'more happy' or 'people body' for a more professional tone.
cohesion
Connect ideas more smoothly. Phrases like 'Another point to consider' could be enhanced with smoother transitions.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
task response
You address both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view before presenting your stance.
content
The points about the benefits of public parks and sports facilities for quality of life and health are clearly stated.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.