19 .As the world has become technological advance, computer are replacing more and more jobs that maybe lose because of computer. Discuss at least one problem that may result.

#world #advance #computer #jobs

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The

advanced

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advancement

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of technology has

cause

Wrong verb form

caused

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substantially

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substantial

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change

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peoples

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people's

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lives.

The companies

Correct article usage

Companies

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are investing in machines that are displacing

people

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and

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consequency

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consequently

unemployment has become

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show examples

issue. The advantages to both the employer and consumer, are massively indisputable.

However

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However,

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a jobless society could bring forth many consequences to

people

This

essay

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apply

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will

discuus

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discuss

both sides of

this

problem. Some

people

support the view that replacing workers

for

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with

show examples

computers

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

better. The benefits that machines can provide

such

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apply

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speed, facilities and efficiency are undoubtedly revolutionary,

besides

that,

the

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apply

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companies can cut staff pay

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the expense

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expense

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expenses

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. The errors

previouslly comited

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previously committed

for

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humans have been

change

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changing

changed

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for

the

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apply

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machine

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machine's

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efficiency. Brands like Zara for

exemple

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example

are implantating

self- checkout

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self-checkout

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in all

branchs

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branches

. The

costumers

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customers

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can pay for their purchase themself, with more practice and

altonomy

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autonomy

Other

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The other

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day, I

experience

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experienced

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myself when I was collecting my online purchase. The cashiers were replaced by a big screen computer, where I made everything myself and a

sale

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sales

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advisor just

come

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came

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to give me my item and I had a great

bexperience

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experience

shopping.

On the other hand

, the

substituition

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substitution

people

for

computers

will

afect

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affect

by loss of

humans

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human

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skiils

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skills

and

qualites

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qualities

quality

that are

essesntial

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essential

inovation

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innovation

. In

addiction

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addition

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, job displacement ,

one

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is one

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of the most relevant

concern

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concerns

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as it could cause

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apply

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mass unemployment.

The unemployment

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Unemployment

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can

reflect

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be reflected

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in violence and

the

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apply

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criminology will increase.

Furthermore

,there will be a negative impact

economical

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apply

show examples

such

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apply

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unenployment

decrease

Correct subject-verb agreement

decreases

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the

numbers

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number

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people

with

fix

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fixed

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income which can decrease

the

Correct article usage

apply

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consumption and the economy

stops

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stop

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moving and

cause

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causing

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industrial

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an industrial

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slowdown.

Thus

people

can not be affected and

loose

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lose

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their jobs for the

computers

. The world could be

devastaded

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devastated

To conclude

the

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apply

show examples

technology is important and the world has to develop and be

modernize

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modernised

show examples

in order

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for

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

socity

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society

to have

acess

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access

to more

easy

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easier

show examples

life

thats

Correct your spelling

that

that's

before was so difficult or took more time.

However

the

Correct article usage

apply

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humanity can not be

harm

Wrong verb form

harmed

show examples

and give place to

computers

otherwise

which

Correct pronoun usage

what

show examples

would be the meaning of human existence if not

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

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able to perform functions?

Submitted by amandaoliveirastylist on Mon Dec 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen logical progression between paragraphs by using more linking words or phrases.

task achievement

Ensure more clarity and comprehension by avoiding long, convoluted sentences.

task achievement

Integrate specific examples more seamlessly into the discussion to strengthen the argument.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the problem creating a balanced view.

coherence cohesion

Introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay and concludes effectively.

task achievement

Use of personal experience adds a personalized touch to the argument.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
70
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

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19 .As the world has become technological advance, computer are replacing more and more jobs that maybe lose because of computer. Discuss at least one problem that may result.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Anyone can use a mobile phone to answer the work call and home call at any place, or 7 days a week. Do you think there are more negative or positive effects on both individuals and society?

Some think the current generation should take steps to protect the environment for the next generation.to what extend do you agree or dis agree.

Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The rise off social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

“Nowadays children are undisciplined because their parents are busy with their career.” To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What could parents do to build a sense of discipline among children?