Some people think that competition at work , at school and daily life is a good thing . Others believe that we should try cooperate more , rather than competing against each other
It
is often believe
that Change the verb form
is often believed
people
consider competition
as one
of the most significant role
Change to a plural noun
roles
to
improving in your performance . Change preposition
apply
While
some people
argue that participating in work and study areas has more evident benefit rather than competition
.This
essay will discuss both these apposite
Correct your spelling
opposite
view
.
On the Change the determiner
views
one
hand , competition
can be effective to
Change preposition
in
development
Correct article usage
the development
in
different Change preposition
of
type
of issues .Fix the agreement mistake
types
In other words
, contention is crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
factors
to make a change in your Fix the agreement mistake
factor
life
although
it should be accompanied by making friend
. Fix the agreement mistake
friends
For instance
, when you attending in the
any type of cup or rivalry , competing with other Remove the article
apply
people
it should be make
Change the verb form
be made
be making
a
opportunity to aid Change the article
an
making
Change preposition
in making
friend
and upgrade your situation , lifestyle and routine . In my view , Fix the agreement mistake
friends
competition
in healthy areas and with people
who have the attitude of having a happy life
can become one
of the factors of personal growth in life
.
On the other hand
, it is thought by some people
that cooperating in non-identical
category of step of Correct article usage
a non-identical
life
it
could be Correct pronoun usage
apply
better
alternative to Add an article
a better
competition
. Furthermore
, there is a
another reason is you should communicate with each person Remove the article
apply
while
working with them . Transmission to other person
is the Fix the agreement mistake
people
mean
cause Correct word choice
main
to
collaborating at jobs , college and daily routine and when Change preposition
of
people
ones
work in Correct pronoun usage
apply
a groups
, they are influenced by the mentality of Correct the article-noun agreement
groups
a group
other
. Fix the agreement mistake
others
According
my experience , cooperating is Add the preposition
According to
one
of the prominent points to connection
each person who Replace the word
connect
live
in different places in the world Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
for
share Change preposition
to
the
information and Correct article usage
apply
idea
to Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
expending
our Verb problem
expand
life
.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
To conclude
, People
are involved is
these two issues . Correct your spelling
in
However
, I believe that competition
can be chosen by people
who want to become more successful people
.Submitted by amir.bakhshi1010 on
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coherence cohesion
Clarify your main arguments for both competition and cooperation more clearly. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
Some of your ideas are not clearly explained. Try to express them more explicitly to avoid confusion.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points.
task achievement
You have included both viewpoints and provided a conclusion, which demonstrates a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, showcasing a good structure.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example