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Writing Samples
Band 7

Task 1: The table below describes percentages of homeschooled students in Some Country in 1999- 2004. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. Write at least 150 words.

Task 1: The table below describes percentages of homeschooled students in Some Country in 1999- 2004. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. Write at least 150 words.
#percentages #students #country #report #university #lecturer #information
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The static table below provides information about the percentages of homeschooled
students
Use synonyms
 in some countries between 1999-2004. It
also
Linking Words
 shows the
grades
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 as well.
Overall
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the given data, the highest proportion of homeschooled
students
Use synonyms
 was during
kindergarten
Correct article usage
the kindergarten
show examples
 period and the lowest was detected between 1-2
grades
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, homeschooled kindergarten children' number in 1999 was 2.4% and it showed a slight increase every year and in 2004 it became 2.9%.
In addition
Linking Words
 , in 1999 1.5% of
students
Use synonyms
 between 1-2
grades
Use synonyms
 were homeschooled and it showed a small decrease to 1.3% in 2001 but for 2004 2.1% of
students
Use synonyms
 were homeschooled in that country.
Secondly
Linking Words
, 1.6% of young people between 5 to 6
grades
Use synonyms
 were studying at home in 1999,
however
Linking Words
, in 2001 and 2002 the number showed a marginal decrease to 1.5% and in 2004 it had
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 leap to 2.6%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, 1.6% of
students
Use synonyms
 were taking education at home in 1999 and by the end of 2004, the proportion of it became 2.5%. Taking everything into consideration, in the given country, in 1999 homeschooling was popular at the kindergarten level,
however
Linking Words
, in 2004, it became popular almost
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every grade, which indicates that parents were not pleased
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the educational system of that country.
Submitted by ibragimmamedov2 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, grades with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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