IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The process below shows about make bread in factory.

#process #bread #factory
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The process illustrates how breads are manufactured in the shapes of baguettes and white
bread
. It is apparent that there are about five distinct stages, starting with the mixing of special ingredients and ending with the final step of putting them into the oven.
At the first stage
 in the process, the ingredients—sugar, milk, eggs, and wheat—are mixed in one special sink for stirring with a whisk.
Afterward
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Afterwards
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, the prepared dough is kneaded for some minutes and spread with a kitchen stick. At
this
 stage, the dough is divided into two different shapes, which form the
bread
 and baguette. In the substantial stage in which the breads are prepared in their shapes, they are put into the oven.
Finally
, the prepared white
bread
 and baguettes are transported to supermarkets or
bread
centers
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centres
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 for
selling
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sale
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.
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task achievement
Provide more specific details about each stage of the process to enhance comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each stage in the process is clearly related to the subsequent stage for improved clarity.
coherence cohesion
Consider introducing and concluding the process description to give a rounded overview.
task achievement
Clear identification of key stages in the bread-making process, such as mixing and baking, with appropriate sequencing.
coherence cohesion
Use of specific terminology relevant to the bread-making process, adding clarity.
coherence cohesion
Logical sequence of steps from mixing ingredients to the final packaging, showing moderate coherence.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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