IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important Thảo

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There are conflicting views about the best way to stay healthy.
While
Linking Words
 some people believe physical activities are beneficial to
health
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 , from my point of view, a balanced
diet
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 plays
a
Correct article usage
an
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 role important
of
Change preposition
in
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 humans. There are many reasons why some people believe that workout is helpful to
health
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.
Exercise
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 can help improve
health
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, increase endurance and avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
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problems
such
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 as obesity, heart disease,
bone
Correct word choice
and bone
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 diseases. Regular
exercise
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 helps you fall asleep
easier
Rephrase
more easily
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 and sleep more deeply. Maintaining a regular
exercise
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 routine is one of the most effective ways to take care of your
health
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 and improve your
overall
Linking Words
 life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , I would argue that a nutritious
diet
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 is necessary for
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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 body. Adequate nutrition helps the body have enough energy to function, work and study. Eating scientifically helps prevent overweight, obesity or underweight. Foods like walnuts, avocados, and olive oil are good for the brain. For these reasons above, a balanced
diet
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 plays an important role
to maintain
Change preposition
in maintaining
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 a healthy lifestyle. The American Heart Association
also
Linking Words
 recommends eating a
diet
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 rich in vegetables, fruits, whole grains, lean protein, and limited saturated fat, sugar, and salt. In conclusion,
exercise
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 helps us improve our
health
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, but we need a suitable
diet
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 to have enough energy to work. We should know how to balance both to improve
health
Use synonyms
 because they are both beneficial to the body.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score in Task Response, consider elaborating more on your points using relevant examples or studies. For example, when discussing the benefits of exercise, you could mention specific exercises and their direct health benefits.
coherence cohesion
For improved Coherence and Cohesion, ensure each sentence logically leads to the next. Some sentences could have smoother transitions to maintain a natural flow of ideas. Using cohesive devices like 'furthermore' or 'moreover' can help.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This supports a high coherence and cohesion score.
task achievement
The essay generally answers the question by comparing the importance of exercise and a balanced diet in maintaining health. This completeness boosts your task achievement score.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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