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Band 6.5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school? Do advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Languages are the core of human development and the key to communication. There is no denying the fact that teaching youth different languages is a heated debate between families,
while
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 it is a commonly held belief that variety in learning
subjects
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 at
school
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 for young students is
favorable
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favourable
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 in terms of the beneficial consumption of their free time, it
also
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 faces challenges like heavy curriculum.
Although
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 it is a drawback for many individuals the benefits outweigh it. On one hand, busy schedules for undergraduates lead to what we call burnout.
In other words
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, their brains stop functioning and their mental health levels are negatively affected.
In addition
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, their grades and
school
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 performance will drop which will be followed by bad statistics of education institutes in general.
For instance
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, a study in the USA showed an increasing number of dropping out of
school
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 among personnel in Willson Primary
School
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 in the US and 50% of the factors were how hectic their program was.
Although
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 the numbers are high it can be avoided with a better organization.
On the other hand
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, human brains will always surprise us with the amount of information they can receive the younger the person is, it is
also
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 possible to say, that children find it easier to be taught new
subjects
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 than adults and it will positively impact them by fulfilling their time with important things that will benefit their future.
Moreover
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, it is exciting for
this
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 age group to learn and experience new objectives.
For example
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, Japan implements the different nations' language
subjects
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 in younger classes, and in turn they have the most successful generation. The advantage of programs with various
subjects
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 outweighs the drawbacks. In conclusion, despite adding another language might cause students to be under pressure, the advantages of
practicing
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practising
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 different languages will benefit the younger it is taught. A better regulation of the topics among primary schools is recommended to reduce the disadvantaged.

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coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs for better coherence.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully supported with clear examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which reinforces the main argument.
task achievement
The response addresses the question directly and considers both advantages and disadvantages.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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