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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.
#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #show #surveys #visit #two #periods
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The table illustrates how many
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 visited Ashdown Museum during the
year
Use synonyms
 before and the
year
Use synonyms
 after its refurbishment,
While
Linking Words
 the pie charts depict the result of
questionnairs
Correct your spelling
questionnaires
questionnaire
 asking
visitors
Use synonyms
 how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.
Overall
Linking Words
, it seems that the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 increased after the renewal of the museum. Meanwhile, the
number
Use synonyms
 of satisfied
visitors
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 saw a significant rise showing that changes were in their favour. If we look at the details, 74000
visitors
Use synonyms
 visited the museum during the
year
Use synonyms
 before its development. After the changes occurred, the
number
Use synonyms
rocketted
Correct your spelling
rocketed
 to 92000. Regarding the results of the surveys, in the
year
Use synonyms
 before the refurbishment, 15% of the
respondants
Correct your spelling
respondents
 said they were very satisfied
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their visiting
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
. Whilst, there were 35% with the same feeling in the
year
Use synonyms
 after.
Moreover
Linking Words
, around
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of the participants were satisfied in the first
year
Use synonyms
 but the
number
Use synonyms
 increased to 40% in the
year
Use synonyms
 after.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the dissatisfied
populity
Correct your spelling
popularity
populism
were plummeted
Change to the active voice
plummeted
have plummeted
show examples
 from 40% to 15% after the
occurance
Correct your spelling
occurrence
 of the rebuilding.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, visitors, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • refurbishment
  • visitor statistics
  • satisfaction survey
  • seasonal trends
  • demographics
  • benchmarking
  • feedback mechanisms
  • amenities
  • exhibitions
  • customer experience
  • turnaround
  • user engagement
  • footfall
  • improvements
  • disparities
  • perception
  • enhancements
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