IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Details of politicians' private lives should not be published in newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#politicians #lives #newspaper
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There is no denying the fact that
the
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apply
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private
information
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 about political persons’
lives
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 is a private secret.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that details about politicians’ private
lives
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 should not be published in printed media, there is an argument opposite it. In my opinion, I consider that the personal
information
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 of politicians’ private
lives
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 should not be published in newspapers.
To begin
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 with, publishing the private details of those persons may cause to break their privacy.
In other words
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, politicians have the right to keep their
enternal
Correct your spelling
internal
external
eternal
lives
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 secret and it is not necessary that anybody know
details
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the details
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 of their
lives
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.
In addition
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, it is essential to save their personal
lives
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 away from
pubular
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popular
tubular
 for many reasons.
For example
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, it is
possibly
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possible
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 if their full
information
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 was published to affect their responsibility negatively. Another point to consider is, the
individuals’
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individual’s
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 data for any authority’s man if it is published to threaten his life and his
family
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family's
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 life. It is
also
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 possible to say that some
of
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apply
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violators may use
these published
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this published information
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information
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 to break the law
due to
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 threatening the decision-makers
while
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 they are deciding on some issues.
Moreover
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, it is probable
to
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apply
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that threats make decision-makers
to
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apply
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take
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make
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 unfair decisions to avoid any dangers
on
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in
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 their family
lives
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.
For instance
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, if any lawbreakers try to abuse
to
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apply
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any family member
for
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of
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 a politician that may make the politician
to
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apply
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act as the violator need. In conclusion. I strongly believe that the personal
information
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 of politicians should not become a public issue to save their
lives
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 and keep their decisions unbiased.
Submitted by fayez1939 on

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas to improve coherence.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully explained and supported by specific examples.
task achievement
Clarify some unclear ideas to enhance comprehension.
introduction conclusion
The essay introduces the topic and provides a conclusion effectively.
task achievement
Attempts to provide arguments both in favor and against publishing private information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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