IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Details of politicians' private lives should not be published in newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private
information
Use synonyms
 about political persons’
lives
Use synonyms
 is a private secret.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that details about politicians’ private
lives
Use synonyms
 should not be published in printed media, there is an argument opposite it. In my opinion, I consider that the personal
information
Use synonyms
 of politicians’ private
lives
Use synonyms
 should not be published in newspapers.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, publishing the private details of those persons may cause to break their privacy.
In other words
Linking Words
, politicians have the right to keep their
enternal
Correct your spelling
internal
external
eternal
lives
Use synonyms
 secret and it is not necessary that anybody know
details
Correct article usage
the details
show examples
 of their
lives
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is essential to save their personal
lives
Use synonyms
 away from
pubular
Correct your spelling
popular
tubular
 for many reasons.
For example
Linking Words
, it is
possibly
Change the word
possible
show examples
 if their full
information
Use synonyms
 was published to affect their responsibility negatively. Another point to consider is, the
individuals’
Change noun form
individual’s
show examples
 data for any authority’s man if it is published to threaten his life and his
family
Change noun form
family's
show examples
 life. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
violators may use
these published
Change the determiner
this published information
show examples
information
Use synonyms
 to break the law
due to
Linking Words
 threatening the decision-makers
while
Linking Words
 they are deciding on some issues.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is probable
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that threats make decision-makers
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 unfair decisions to avoid any dangers
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their family
lives
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if any lawbreakers try to abuse
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any family member
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a politician that may make the politician
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
act as the violator need. In conclusion. I strongly believe that the personal
information
Use synonyms
 of politicians should not become a public issue to save their
lives
Use synonyms
 and keep their decisions unbiased.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas to improve coherence.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully explained and supported by specific examples.
task achievement
Clarify some unclear ideas to enhance comprehension.
introduction conclusion
The essay introduces the topic and provides a conclusion effectively.
task achievement
Attempts to provide arguments both in favor and against publishing private information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: