The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. 

Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table illustrates the
people
Use synonyms
who live in New
zealand
Change the capitalization
Zealand
show examples
in two
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
years by age
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
group.
Overall
Linking Words
,As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is shown,In 2011 and 2012
people
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
all ages
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
the top of the table.Leading that,
People
Use synonyms
who are 15-39 comes at the
secound
Correct your spelling
second
place.
Last
Linking Words
but not
lest
Correct your spelling
least
show examples
,
People
Use synonyms
who are aged 65 and above
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
at the
last
Linking Words
place on
this
Linking Words
table. On the one hand,In 2011
people
Use synonyms
who are from all ages were 4.381.269
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
increased by about 0.6 per cent in 2012.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,kids aged under 15
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
both 2011 and 2012 had
aproximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
the same number but with a slight
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
difference
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
about 0.2%.
Also
Linking Words
,teenagers and adults in 2012
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
less
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
2011
Change preposition
in 2011
show examples
by 0.2 per cent. In detail,grownups who are 40-64
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
1,331,907 in 2011 and it had increased in 2012 to reach 1.339.898 so it has rose by 0.6%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,For the 65 and above it has grown by
aboy
Correct your spelling
about
4.0 per cent.
Submitted by Lion on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • population growth
  • age group
  • increase
  • decline
  • elderly population
  • aging population
  • working-age population
  • stable labor force
  • modest increase
  • significant change
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