Some people suggest that social networking and online communication have increased social isolation. In what ways do you think this has happened? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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While
social
media
was aimed to connect
people
, in
reality
Add the comma(s)
reality,
show examples
social
media
platforms increase social isolation. Actually, these platforms are
equipt
Correct your spelling
equipped
show examples
with many features for users to engage with each other.
However
, I think we could not replace
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
interaction with online
communication
.
Firstly
, social
media
facilitates
people
to connect with other
people
through its platform which means nowadays we need
mediator
Fix the agreement mistake
mediators
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to be connected.
However
, the connection is not as real as when human meets with others. Social
media
creates distances between communities because it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
a mediation. The human
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
evolves to an indirect relationship when in fact we
are interacted
Change to the active voice
interact
have interacted
show examples
with
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
communication
including social
media
platforms
such
as Twitter, Instagram and
Faceboo
Correct your spelling
Facebook
cover
Correct subject-verb agreement
covers
show examples
only
limiteds
Correct your spelling
limited
show examples
ways of
communication
.
Communication
is a complex matter
consist
Wrong verb form
consisting
show examples
of verbal, sound, and most importantly body language, including touching others.
For
example
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example,
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when you say you are sorry to someone,
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
not just communicate through words, but with with gestures as well
such
as
face
Replace the word
facial
show examples
expression
Fix the agreement mistake
expressions
show examples
and even hugging. Even
tough
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
many gadget
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
try to convince
people
that the advancement of technologies
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
to connect with others, they do not reveal the whole picture. Social
media
creates distances and
uncomplete
Correct your spelling
incomplete
show examples
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
ways of
communication
.
Therefore
, it easily could move
people
away from his communities. In the future, I have a suggestion the make a
free-social-
Correct your spelling
free social media
show examples
media
time policy at least in our house.
Submitted by edna.c.pattisina on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion. However, ensure that you provide even more specific examples or evidence from your personal experience or broader knowledge that directly supports your points. This will help strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your ideas. Use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument smoothly. While you have an introduction and conclusion, they can be further developed to clearly outline your stance and summarize key points.
task achievement
You effectively recognize the potential downsides of relying on social media for communication, providing a reasonable stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with defined sections for introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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