Task 2. Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is this a positive or negative development?
Postponing marriage till
thirties
seems to have become a trend for our generation nowadays. Change the article
the thirties
Although
Linking Words
get
married at an early stage of Wrong verb form
getting
life
has many advantages, I still consider that delaying marriage is more beneficial for couples.
Admittedly, Delaying marriage can have some negative influence Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
people
. On the individual level, the older you are, the higher Use synonyms
infertile
rates you have. As Correct article usage
the infertile
people
Use synonyms
getting
older, their body's function starts to gradually decline, lowering the chance of having children. Japan, Wrong verb form
get
for instance
, is one of the lowest populated countries in the world Linking Words
due to
the Linking Words
fearness
of taking care of their children when married. Correct your spelling
fairness
fearless
Additionally
, older Linking Words
people
will have less energy dealing with physically demanding activities without the help of their children.
Use synonyms
However
, one of the primary advantages of Linking Words
this
trend is the financial stability that middle-aged Linking Words
people
have achieved through their Use synonyms
career
. In Fix the agreement mistake
careers
this
stage of Linking Words
life
, the majority of Use synonyms
people
will have the ability Use synonyms
dealing
with financial problems and healthcare access which is essential for their family. Change the verb form
to deal
Moreover
, individuals who marry later in Linking Words
life
are often Use synonyms
emtionally
mature and fully prepared for their Correct your spelling
emotionally
family
. They are more likely to gain valuable experiences and problem-solving skills from Fix the agreement mistake
families
life
. A suitable example Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
these
is that the Vietnamese Correct pronoun usage
this
financially
economic survey in 2014 Change the word
financial
have
shown that younger couples tend to have Correct subject-verb agreement
has
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
divorced
Replace the word
divorce
rate
than older ones.
In conclusion, though society has sparked Fix the agreement mistake
rates
controveries
about Correct your spelling
controversies
controversy
married-related
problems, I still believe that they are outweighed by the advantages, Correct your spelling
marriage-related
while
Linking Words
this
trend offered enough time for couples Linking Words
enhancing
their financial Change the verb form
to enhance
securities
and emotional Fix the agreement mistake
security
mature
.Replace the word
maturity
Submitted by dohuyhoang on
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relevant specific examples
Include more varied examples to support your points throughout the essay to strengthen the argument.
general language advice
Review grammar and vocabulary usage for small inaccuracies, such as subject-verb agreement and word choice.
introduction conclusion present
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logical structure
Each paragraph clearly presents main ideas and explains them logically, contributing to overall coherence.