Task 2. Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #birth #thirties #development

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Postponing marriage till

thirties

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the thirties

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seems to have become a trend for our generation nowadays.

Although

Linking Words

get

Wrong verb form

getting

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married at an early stage of

life

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has many advantages, I still consider that delaying marriage is more beneficial for couples. Admittedly, Delaying marriage can have some negative influence

for

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show examples

people

Use synonyms

. On the individual level, the older you are, the higher

infertile

Correct article usage

the infertile

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rates you have. As

people

Use synonyms

getting

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

older, their body's function starts to gradually decline, lowering the chance of having children. Japan,

for instance

Linking Words

, is one of the lowest populated countries in the world

due to

Linking Words

the

fearness

Correct your spelling

fairness

fearless

of taking care of their children when married.

Additionally

Linking Words

, older

people

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will have less energy dealing with physically demanding activities without the help of their children.

However

Linking Words

, one of the primary advantages of

this

Linking Words

trend is the financial stability that middle-aged

people

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have achieved through their

career

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careers

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. In

this

Linking Words

stage of

life

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, the majority of

people

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will have the ability

dealing

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to deal

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with financial problems and healthcare access which is essential for their family.

Moreover

Linking Words

, individuals who marry later in

life

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are often

emtionally

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emotionally

mature and fully prepared for their

family

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families

show examples

. They are more likely to gain valuable experiences and problem-solving skills from

life

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. A suitable example

for

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show examples

these

Correct pronoun usage

this

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is that the Vietnamese

financially

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financial

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economic survey in 2014

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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shown that younger couples tend to have

higher

Correct article usage

a higher

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divorced

Replace the word

divorce

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rate

Fix the agreement mistake

rates

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than older ones. In conclusion, though society has sparked

controveries

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controversies

controversy

about

married-related

Correct your spelling

marriage-related

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problems, I still believe that they are outweighed by the advantages,

while

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend offered enough time for couples

enhancing

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to enhance

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their financial

securities

Fix the agreement mistake

security

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and emotional

mature

Replace the word

maturity

show examples

Submitted by dohuyhoang on Wed Dec 11 2024

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relevant specific examples

Include more varied examples to support your points throughout the essay to strengthen the argument.

general language advice

Review grammar and vocabulary usage for small inaccuracies, such as subject-verb agreement and word choice.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly states the issue and your position, which is maintained throughout the essay.

logical structure

Each paragraph clearly presents main ideas and explains them logically, contributing to overall coherence.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Task 2. Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is this a positive or negative development?

HAPPINESS is considered very important in life Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

Some teachers think that changing subjects with every lesson will help their students focus more. However, other teachers think that offering their students several lessons on the same subject in a row will help them focus more. Which opinion do you think is better?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a chil's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?