Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some
people
say that each man and woman is in charge of their delight, while
others claim that there are some other circumstances which can lead to people
not being content with their lives. In this
essay, I would like to delve into both perspectives and provide my view of the situation
.
On the one hand, rather than complaining about the obstacles that a person
has faced, it is better to find a way to overcome all the challenges to feel satisfied. During the long human history, there were periods with constant wars and incurable diseases such
as the plague, but people
still found the ability to live gorgeous lives with the ones they loved. I suppose the main source of emotional well-being for individuals in tough times is their family which provides every person
with support regardless of the extent factors. For example
, one famous writer once said that hard times created the most strong and powerful people
. This
phrase means there are no problems which humanity cannot deal with, so cheerfulness is something that each person
can reach themselves in any situation
.
On the other hand
, sometimes happiness could be destroyed by third parties without the ability to influence the situation
. A person
can make a decent living and achieve their goals, but the occasion can change their fate drastically. For instance
, in the beginning of 2020, COVID-19 spread through the globe, and so many countries suffered from this
fatal virus. Not only many people
died
during the pandemic, but the economic sphere was Wrong verb form
die
also
harmed due to
disruptions in logistics. I find it very hard to stay positive in conditions, when everybody is concerned with future uncertainty, so happiness cannot be experienced while
the quality of people
`s lives decreases without the chance to affect various external factors.
To sum up
, both viewpoints are relevant as the circumstances depend on the complexity of the situation
. There are obviously people
who can affect their own life satisfaction regardless of the challenges because their relatives are generous and reliable enough. Nevertheless
, sometimes the obstacle can be extra hard, so it will inevitably result in unhappiness. As for me, I strongly believe that humanity can overcome all the difficulties and find peace and delight if the community works together. I am sure that the people
around you can encourage you to stay positive even during the worst times, so contentment is really something which is created by each individual themselves.Submitted by n.chubukina21 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure paragraph transitions are smoother. Consider using linking phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs more seamlessly.
Task Achievement
While the examples provided are relevant, adding a variety of examples across time and place might enhance the argument further.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay provides a well-structured introduction and conclusion with a clear stance on the issue.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively explores both views with relevant examples and a personal opinion.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.