IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People should only concentrate on a single skill for life because it is the best way to succeed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an ongoing debate about whether
people
Use synonyms
 must focus on a single skill to succeed or not.
However
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should develop various subjects not only sticking to the skill they are interested in but
also
Linking Words
 other skills.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are a variety of fundamental subjects to be explored in the world. Even though someone is good at music or art, they must take basic and regular courses, which can broaden their sight.
For example
Linking Words
, a famous Korean actress named Gain Han,
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
got great marks in high school and now dreams to go abroad to explore another subject. Having basic skills can enrich your life and can make it easier to start another area. On top of that,
people
Use synonyms
 should prepare just in case they want to change their majors or careers. If someone misses the time, they should take the class or learn subjects they had to master.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can lead to making it harder or it might be impossible to enter another area.
For instance
Linking Words
, a former Korean
signer
Correct your spelling
singer
show examples
 became a lawyer in the US working for the public. If she only
focuses
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
 on singing and not developing others, she might not have lived a new life as a lawyer and ended up not even trying to a new field.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is true that some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
people
Use synonyms
 should drill down to succeed in an area.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I strongly think that
people
Use synonyms
 should improve a wide range of skills rather than only one.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples with detailed explanations to better support your points. This will not only strengthen your argument but also help readers relate more to your ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly and comprehensively presented. Sometimes expanding a bit more on how different skills can directly lead to success might make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more linking words and transition phrases within your paragraphs to achieve greater cohesion. This will enhance the natural flow of your essay and make it easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents your opinion and the structure of your essay. It gives readers a good sense of what to expect, which is excellent for coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your perspective and reinforces your main argument. This helps in maintaining coherence throughout the essay.
task achievement
You've effectively argued against the notion of focusing solely on one skill, engaging the reader with valid points about adaptability and future opportunities.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: