Some people think that the government should decide the subject for students to study in university. Others believe that students should be allowed to apply for the subject they prefer. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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Studying
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a subject has been a vital topic of debate.
While
some people believe that the government should make a decision for
students
to study in which
disciplines
, others would argue that
students
should have
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
to choose their
subjects
personally. Both sides of the argument highlight valuable points, which will be discussed, followed by my own perspective. First of all,
governments
have
accessed
Change the form of the verb
access
show examples
to extensive sources and a variety of
information
to decide which
disciplines
and courses are more essential for both societies and individuals.
In other words
,
governments
have significant
powerful
Replace the word
power
show examples
to equip
students
with extensive pieces of knowledge and
information
, in order to develop the future and societies in a practical way.
For instance
, In today's advanced world,
governments
might need numerous scientists and masters in technology and Al, so it is crucial to manage effectively the universities'
disciplines
and nurture sufficient scientists in these
subjects
.
Conversely
,
students
should have
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
to enrol in their favourite
disciplines
in universities,
this
trend not only brings a sense of fulfilment for
students
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
can encourage them to enhance their
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
, leading to a deep understanding
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
their chosen
subjects
.
Moreover
, by placing more emphasis on technology,
students
can easily search and find their personal subject interests through the internet. A prime illustration is a child, as a young adult, who has grown up in a technology environment, so they can gain sufficient
information
about their interest in topics, leading to a practical decision in terms of choosing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
prestigious university. In conclusion, there are various opinions about choosing
students
'
subjects
, whether by the government or individuals.
Although
some people believe that
governments
should have a right to choose
students
'
subjects
, others think that
students
should follow their personal interests, which can be enhanced through searching and gaining in the current technological era. I strongly advocate the second viewpoint and believe that
students
can gain sufficient
information
to choose a practical decision for their
disciplines
.
Submitted by mahanz on

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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Try using a variety of linking words to connect sentences and ideas to enhance the flow of your arguments.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments with more specific and detailed examples. This will show a deeper engagement with the topic and can support your viewpoints more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases and aim for more diverse sentence structures and vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and professional-sounding.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.
task achievement
You clearly explained both perspectives before stating your own opinion, aligning well with the prompt requirements.
task achievement
The reasoning provided in support of your opinion is logical and shows an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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