More people shop, work and communicate via the internet instead of face-to-face communication. Is it positive or negative?

There is an increasing number of
people
shopping and reaching through the
internet
rather than in person.
This
essay will explore both perspectives that present the development of benefits and drawbacks, and offer a balanced viewpoint. In today's digital age, the prevalence of the
internet
has rapidly risen. It is widely agreed that
this
invention greatly promotes
people
's lives. One of the most significant impacts is that nowadays
people
can nearly achieve everything online. Sometimes
people
have to drive a couple of hours to reach other cities so that they can meet their family,
while
internet
applications like Facetime can efficiently address
this
time-consuming problem.
Furthermore
,
this
kind of technology can
also
allow the general public to purchase household necessities without visiting physical shops. In
this
way,
people
are able to sit at home and wait for the delivery, which saves plenty of effort to commute.
On the other hand
, there are
also
negative effects that the population relies on the
internet
.
For example
, today's
people
become accustomed to storing their private information online, and
this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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can cause adverse repercussions. With the widespread availability of the
internet
, there are always various bugs in the servers of online malls, and
thus
hackers can use them to steal your cyber assets.
Moreover
, it is undeniable that most technologies need electricity. If
people
put too much weight on the
internet
, the power off can be a tremendous disaster. In conclusion, it is evident that the
internet
is a considerable helper, but relying on it could result in several disadvantages. From my perspective, it is essential for the populace to strike a delicate balance between its usage.
Submitted by seanlin12345 on

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Coherence Cohesion
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Logical Structure
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Introduction Conclusion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, strive for a stronger thesis statement and a more compelling final comment to leave a lasting impression on the reader. This could be achieved by clearly stating your position in the introduction and reinforcing it in the conclusion with a definitive stance.
Task Achievement
You have done well in providing a complete response to the task by exploring both the positive and negative effects of the internet on communication and shopping. To achieve an even higher score, reflect on ensuring a balanced treatment of both sides and a decisive conclusion reflecting your nuanced understanding of the topic.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
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Relevant Specific Examples
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