In many countries ,teenagers are encouraged to do part time jobs. what do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part time jobs ?what's the situation like in your country?

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During holidays,

teenagers

Use synonyms

are used to

Change the verb form

doing

show examples

Use synonyms

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

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jobs

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While

Linking Words

these activities could give them experiences and some pocket

money

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, there are

also

Linking Words

some negative considerations

need

Correct pronoun usage

that need

show examples

to be examined. I think that it is a good opportunity for

young-adults

Correct your spelling

young adults

show examples

to have some

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part

Add a hyphen

part-time

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time

Use synonyms

jobs

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This

Linking Words

esaay

Correct your spelling

essay

will elaborate

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

pros and cons of doing temporary

jobs

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. I should start with the positive impact.

Firstly

Linking Words

Use synonyms

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

jobs

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will give

teenagers

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a glimpse of adulthood.

This

Linking Words

kind of

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

show examples

expand

Change the verb form

expands

show examples

their knowledge about life. For

exampe

Correct your spelling

example

, as a child, whenever you come to a

dine

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dinner

show examples

, all you know is ordering food. Yet, when you

work

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temporarily as a waiter in a restaurant, you know how hard it can be, from receiving orders to washing all the dishes.

Secondly

Linking Words

Use synonyms

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

jobs

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could boost young people self confidence. They have more belief

Change preposition

show examples

their own ability to do some

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and to earn

money

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. Speaking about

money

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, it could

creates

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create

show examples

cons for doing

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part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

jobs

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. Sometimes, when

teenagers

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could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

earn

money

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form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

work

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, they become

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money oriented

Add a hyphen

money-oriented

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. It will destroy many good values

such

Linking Words

as the importance of social

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and helping others voluntarily.

For example

Linking Words

usually

Add a comma

usually,

show examples

my niece helps an elderly that

live

Correct subject-verb agreement

lives

show examples

next door voluntarily.

However

Linking Words

, after she

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

took a

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part

Add a hyphen

part-time

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time

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job, she began asking why she does not receive

money

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due to

Linking Words

her

effort

Fix the agreement mistake

efforts

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helping the elderly. In my country, there is no custom for

teenagers

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to do

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part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

jobs

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because Indonesia already has a big number of workforce.

Therefore

Linking Words

, giving

teenagers

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Remove the article

apply

show examples

work

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during their spare

time

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is not a priority.

To conclude

Linking Words

my essay, there are some cons and pros regarding

Use synonyms

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

jobs

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for

teenagers

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due to

Linking Words

giving experience and boosting

self confidence

Add a hyphen

self-confidence

show examples

versus social values decreasing.

However

Linking Words

, I agree that now and

then

Linking Words

it is better for

teenagers

Use synonyms

to do some

work

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especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

on their holidays. Probably there must be some policy on the limit of honour people should give to them.

edna.c.pattisinaWed Dec 11 2024

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task achievement

Ensure all arguments are supported with specific examples.

coherence cohesion

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Provide a balanced discussion by elaborating equally on both advantages and disadvantages.

coherence cohesion

Good overall structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

task achievement

Clear statement of opinion on part-time jobs.

task achievement

Awareness of both positive and negative aspects is well communicated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

334 words

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In many countries ,teenagers are encouraged to do part time jobs. what do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part time jobs ?what's the situation like in your country?

Fully explain your ideas

With the rise of e books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Modern communications mean that it’s no longer necessary to write letters. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.