IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tables and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed

The tables and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed
#tables #information #police #budget #area #britain #money #show
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided graphs depict data about
Correct article usage
the poliice
show examples
poliice
Correct your spelling
police
budget
 in 2017 and 2018 in one certain
part
 of Britain. The table depicts information about money income,
while
 the pie charts illustrate data about expenses.
Overall
, police earned money mostly from
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 Government in both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
years. The salaries held the majority
part
 of expenses in 2017 and 2018.
National
Correct article usage
The National
show examples
 Government was the biggest influencing
part
 of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
budget
. It was 175.5 m in 2017 and showed an increase and reached 177.8m which was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
about 45% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
budget
 and was the biggest amount compared to other categories. Other money sources
such
 as grants,
prizes
Correct word choice
and prizes
show examples
 consisted
Change preposition
of the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 minor
part
 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
budgets
Fix the agreement mistake
budget
show examples
 and
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 38.5m in 2018.
Budget
Add an article
The budget
show examples
 was spent across 3 categories
such
 as salaries, tech and property. Buildings and transport expenses witnessed stability from 2017 and 2018 and remained at 17%. The biggest proportion of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 outcome was about salaries ,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 experienced a decrease and became 75 % and 69% in 2017 and 2018, respectively. Technological
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 showed a growth over 2 years and reached 14% in 2018 from just the percentage of 8.
Submitted by mammadliayshan1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words budget, part with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "depict" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: