People in all modern societies use drugs, but today’s youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Since their early years, young
people
saw their parents consume
drugs
almost
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
This
situations
Change the determiner
situation
show examples
creates a mindset
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
them, which
then
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
them to follow those habits.
While
it is
also
not healthy for
adult
Add an article
an adult
show examples
to
depend
Add the preposition
depend on
show examples
their mental health on
drugs
, it has bigger effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
. In my opinion, adult
people
should decrease using
drugs
in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In
this
essay, I would like to discuss the causes and some effects of
massive
Correct article usage
the massive
show examples
use of
drugs
by young
people
.
Due to
Correct article usage
the streesfull
show examples
streesfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
atmosphere in modern life, many
people
use
drugs
as their survival mechanism. Their children
then
follow
this
example
wholeheartdly
Correct your spelling
wholeheartedly
. In order to cope with
tight
Add an article
a tight
the tight
show examples
schedule, usually rock
band
Fix the agreement mistake
bands
show examples
such
as Rolling Stones use
drugs
as their lifestyle. Afterwards, Rolling Stones' fans especially teenagers would think that using
drugs
is a cool thing to do since their
idol
Fix the agreement mistake
idols
show examples
are
drugs
Change the noun form
drug
show examples
users. It did not take long for them to
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
Add an article
the substance
a substance
show examples
substance
Fix the agreement mistake
substances
show examples
as well. For young
people
, the consequences of using
drugs
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more impactful. It
is happened
Change to the active voice
happens
has happened
show examples
because they are still in
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
stages of growing.
Drugs
will hinder their body's cells
to duplicate
Change preposition
from duplicating
show examples
themselves at the maximum rate.
Hence
, the development of
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
and body of children is not optimal as well. They will have health problems in the future. Since
drugs
Fix the agreement mistake
drug
show examples
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
is worse for the
youngstres
Correct your spelling
youngsters
youngster
who follow
this
habit
from
Change preposition
than
show examples
Add an article
an adult
the adult
show examples
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
, I think it is mandatory for parents to stop using too many
subtances
Correct your spelling
substances
. Parents
also
should supervise their children closely to prohibit them
using
Change preposition
from using
show examples
drugs
, especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illegal ones.
Submitted by edna.c.pattisina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
In the introduction, clearly state the main points you will discuss in the essay to guide the reader effectively.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph develops a single main idea clearly, linking back to the main topic of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or references to research to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed both causes and effects of drug use among youth, fulfilling the task requirements.
task achievement
The essay explores relevant issues about the influence of adults and societal figures on youth drug use.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: