Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your experience.

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An argument has arisen between two views, the first one claims that children should learn

while

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playing,

while

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the second group objects to that.

However

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, in

this

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report, I will go through both sides of

this

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conflict, and explain why I completely agree with

this

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statement. Playing is important, cheerful, exciting, and beneficial ;

as a consequence

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, it is essential to play and have

fun

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. For

further

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explanation, many scientists suggest that playing is a helpful way to build the person's personality and unique traits

Remove the comma

apply

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and to improve the individuals' understanding of themselves.

Additionally

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, a lot of reports show that having

fun

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is an ideal method to lose

the

Correct article usage

apply

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negative feelings because it helps the child to

conentrate

Correct your spelling

concentrate

on joyful activities

instead

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of being serious during the whole day.

Moreover

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, many parents admit that their children's behaviours dramatically

changed

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change

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after playing

fun

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games

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;

therefore

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, having

fun

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is extremely helpful, useful, and necessary. Even though the points mentioned above are

influencung

Correct your spelling

influential

, there are reverse points that hold equal influence.

To begin

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with, educational

games

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are strategic, brilliant, interesting, and effective. To illustrate that, many experts acknowledge that learning through playing is a perfect way to increase the child's recognition and awareness because it encourages young people to study without feeling bored.

In addition

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, a lot of posts on social media show that, on the one hand, there are a lot of exciting activities that mix having

fun

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with learning at the same time.

On the other hand

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, other non-educational

games

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are useless, less beneficial, and time-consuming because children do not get any benefit from them.

Also

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, some studies capture that there

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are

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limited merits of

fun

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activities, and only the educational ones cause a variety of positive results. In conclusion,

although

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playing in general leads to many positive consequences, educational

games

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hold more advantages, and

that is

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why I completely agree with the statement mentioned above.

haneenalnetaifMon May 13 2024

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Examples

Strive to include more varied and specific examples from real-life experiences or wider sources to enhance the relevance and specificity of your arguments.

Coherence

To strengthen coherence, consider linking your ideas more clearly within paragraphs and using a wider range of cohesive devices for smoother transitions between them.

Task Response

While your essay presents a strong stance, improving on providing a more balanced view before concluding can enhance the depth of your discussion.

Introduction and Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, transitioning smoothly into and out of the body of your essay.

Structure

The essay provides a logical structure, presenting arguments in a clear and organized manner.

Support

Your main points are well-supported, making your argument stronger and more convincing.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your experience.

In recent years, technology has significantly transformed the way people communicate. Some believe that these changes have brought more advantages than disadvantages, while others argue the opposite. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Nowadays people pay more attention to foods price instead of their process of making. Are you agree or disagree with this argument?

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each orther. Others argue that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?