IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

There have been some problems with the bus service, especially its reliability, in your area over the last two weeks. Write a letter to the manager of the bus company. In your letter • describe what the problems are • explain how these problems are affecting you • suggest what you would like the company to do You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ...........,

Dear Mr Smith, I hope
this
Linking Words
 email finds you well. I am writing in regards to your company
bus
Use synonyms
 service being unreliable in
North
Correct article usage
the North
show examples
 Somerset area over the
last
Linking Words
 two weeks. There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 problems with buses in my area that I have encountered so far.
Firstly
Linking Words
, on several
occasions
Add a comma
occasions,
show examples
 there was no space on the
bus
Use synonyms
 itself when it arrived
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the Nailsea
bus
Use synonyms
 stop.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
bus
Use synonyms
 driver did not even stop there.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is often late, arriving 10 mins behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schedule. Because of that, I have missed my
job related
Correct your spelling
job-related
 appointments several times.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I had to rent a taxi to get to the meeting, which resulted in
addiotinal
Correct your spelling
additional
 expenses from my side. I hope that your company will take measures to resolve
this
Linking Words
 issue by any means
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
. I would humbly suggest adding
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 more buses on the routes in
North
Correct article usage
the North
show examples
 Somerset area. If that helps, you can
also
Linking Words
 contact me if you need more details about
exact
Correct article usage
the exact
show examples
 buses driving plates that were late on schedule. Best regards, Taras

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task response
For task response: say a bit more about how often the bus does not stop and how this hurts your day.
task response
For task response: your ask is clear, but add one more direct idea, like better time control or more room on buses.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: split the long middle part into two short parts, one for the bus problem and one for the effect on you.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: use small link words like 'also', 'so', and 'because' to make the flow more smooth.
task response
For task response: you answer all three parts of the task.
task response
For task response: your tone is polite and right for a letter to a manager.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: the letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: the ideas are easy to follow in most parts.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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