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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
Advertisements have been a strategy for marketing since earlier periods. These days, businesses tend to label their
goods
 as new in several ways in their promotions. There are several underlying factors of
this
 circumstance and
this
 can be seen as an adverse movement. There are various possible root causes of
this
 new technique of promotion. The main factor typically is to increase the demand for
products
 and
thus
companies
 can boost their
sales
. First of all, to have a successful promotion, regardless of where business owners commercialise the
products
, they should implement a unique way of advertising.
However
, generating a creative idea seems to be a challenge for most
companies
.
Therefore
, they tend to highlight that their
goods
 are the result of recent developments to induce people, leading to increments in
sales
.
This
 is because
customers
 tend to be intrigued by something
that is
 novel. One example can be seen in Indonesia, where some businesses have succeeded in growing their market
sales
 through
this
 kind of advertisement. Unfortunately,
this
 advertisement strategy indicates a negative trend, especially for the
customers
. Commercialisation is supposed to be a medium to introduce product features to increase public awareness of certain
goods
. If
companies
 only emphasised that the
goods
 are brand new, consumers would not be able to gain any information regarding the product.
Moreover
, when socialising
products
,
companies
 must embrace the good faith principle. In a case where producers claim that their
products
 are brand new
while
 in fact they are not, they actually have already violated consumers’ rights and committed fraud, which is harmful to the buyers.
Overall
, the marketing strategy where
companies
 declare that their
products
 are up to date is to attract
customers
 so they can boost their
sales
 demonstrates a negative development because it potentially misleads the
customers
.
Submitted by usedtobesomeoneyoulove on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the specific examples provided in the essay to further support your arguments. While the example from Indonesia is good, more details or additional examples could strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the argument follows a clear progression, with each paragraph logically leading to the next. This will help in maintaining coherence and a cohesive structure throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps in presenting the arguments in an organized manner.
task achievement
The arguments made are clear and comprehensive, addressing both why businesses emphasize novelty in advertising and the potential negative impacts of this trend.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task, thoroughly exploring the reasons behind the advertising strategy and its implications.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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