‏Some people think that parents should be punished if their children commit crimes because they are responsible for their children's actions To what extent do you agree or disagree

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‏In recent times, there has been a frequently discussed issue of whether parents should punish their
children
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when they commit any mistakes, or whether they allow them to have freedom to deal with actions. I agree that
children
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must take opportunities to be responsible for themselves.
This
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essay will explore
this
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phenomenon in more detail,
supported
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supporting
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loy relevant
exomples
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examples
. ‏
To begin
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with, critics argue that punishing
children
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can lead to both physical and psychological harm.
For instance
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, when parents enforce strict disciplinary measures,
such
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as physical punishment, it may not only harm the child's body but
also
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have long-lasting effects on their mental health. My friend Fatma,
for example
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, often resorts to harsh rules to discipline her
children
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.
While
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her intentions may be to teach them proper
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
,
this
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approach risks causing emotional issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, or even depression. Research has shown that
such
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methods can undermine a child's sense of security and trust, leading to strained relationships and poor emotional well-being.
Conversely
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, exposing young people to various actions
,
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apply
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will definitely gain skills and experiences in life. For increase instance, a study conducted by Glasgow Univesity illustrates that 90% of
children
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gain some features
such
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as solving problems
due to
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their parent's behaviour.So, it accelerates a sense of confidence in their
children
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.
Furthermore
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, the benefits of allowing
children
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to have their
choices
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own choices
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are not limited only to people but
also
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have a profound impact on society. A good example here is minimising societal violence which contributes to developing the communities.
As a result
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,
this
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may stimulate the living conditions. In conclusion,
while
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some argue that punishing Causes some negative consequences, enhancing a child's behaviour is crucial for people and Society. Governments and families have prioritized
to improve
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improving
show examples
children
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's lives.
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task achievement
Make sure to consistently stay on the topic of whether parents should be punished for their children's crimes. Your essay sometimes veers into discussing general discipline methods.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your paragraph transitions smoothly. While your essay has structure, connecting points more clearly between paragraphs will enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay begins with a clear introduction and ends with a conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You included an example and study to support your arguments, which helps in providing a complete response.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parental responsibility
  • Juvenile delinquency
  • Criminal behavior
  • Family dynamics
  • Social influence
  • Legal accountability
  • Preventive measures
  • Supportive environment
  • Peer pressure
  • Root causes
  • Vigilant parenting
  • Criminal intent
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