“Some people think that Government should take measures to improve the health of its citizens. Others think it must be managed by individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion”
Nowadays, societies are gradually becoming more individualistic. Unfortunately,
this
applies not only to individuals but to governors who Linking Words
appropriate
Add a missing verb
are appropriate
from
Change preposition
for
this
tendency when making decisions Linking Words
over
the public health system. But, Change preposition
about
surprisely
, a large proportion of the community Correct your spelling
surprisingly
agree
with the idea that health assistance should not be given for free. In Correct subject-verb agreement
agrees
this
Linking Words
essay
I will point out my opinion about Add a comma
essay,
this
issue.
To start with the trend described above, many countries around the world are Linking Words
transfering
health attention to the private sector, elevating the Correct your spelling
transferring
responsability
and costs of taking care of their well-being to the particulars. Correct your spelling
responsibility
Moreover
, a substantial portion of states have deregulated the market of medical Linking Words
entreprises
, leaving users Correct your spelling
enterprises
under
a critical state of vulnerability. Change preposition
in
This
is the case Linking Words
for example
Linking Words
of
the United States, where medical assistance can be granted only after paying a costly Change preposition
in
montly
fee.
Correct your spelling
monthly
On the contrary
, a considerable number of societies in Europe and some countries in South America like Argentina, hold a solid unpaid healthcare public system. What is more, not only residents but overseas citizens are covered under Linking Words
this
mechanism when staying in those countries, even under the quality of tourists. Linking Words
Nontheless
, Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
this
concept has rapidly changed, and, Linking Words
for instance
, following the case of Argentina, the President in office Javier Milei, has recently announced that foreigners, in the near future, will be charged for medical assistance Linking Words
recieved
in public institutions.
To summarise, I strongly believe that Correct your spelling
received
health-care
must be provided by states, Correct your spelling
health care
due to
the fact that it should be considered as a basic right, that every single person should be grantedLinking Words
with
. What is more, Change preposition
apply
a
neglect in providing medical care should be penalised by law. Remove the article
apply
Nonetheless
, some measures, like charging small fees to tourists or non-residents should be taken, in order to preserve the quality and availability of Linking Words
this
essential public service.Linking Words
Submitted by laura.trevino.ar on
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task achievement
Ensure to provide a balanced discussion. While you did mention both views, a slight expansion on why some might think individuals should manage their own health could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clearer distinction between different points and ensure all sentences logically flow together to avoid disrupting the reader's understanding.
task achievement
The essay provides specific examples, such as the healthcare systems in the United States and Argentina, which effectively support the main points and argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, giving the essay a well-structured framework that guides the reader easily from point to point.