In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

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These days, the majority of men and women prefer to have a personal fitness
trainer
rather than playing sports or registering
exercise
Change preposition
for exercise
show examples
classes. I think it has two main reasons and
also
the positive weight of hiring a personal fitness is more than negative. I will discuss
this
in the following paragraphs. The first reason is that compared to the past, people don'
t
have enough
time
to go to classes, so they want to use
efficiency
Correct article usage
the efficiency
show examples
of their free
time
that's why they prefer to hire a personal
trainer
to get good results as soon as possible.
For example
, a personal
trainer
teaches you to
exercise
correctly,
then
you can see a result soon but if you want to do it by yourself it takes
time
because you don'
t
know how you should use
then
Correct pronoun usage
it then
show examples
you ask
someone
, so you lose your
time
. The second reason is that having a personal
trainer
gives you motivation to keep going.
For example
, one day you are not in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
mood to go to the gym,
then
you have
someone
to push you
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
penalties or give a gift. The positive point of having a private coach is that you always be sure that
someone
coaches you and
you
Correct word choice
that you
show examples
don'
t
get hurt yourself.
For instance
, if you don'
t
know how you should use the leg machine, or you don'
t
know how you can set
this
by your height,
therefore
, you hurt yourself.
As a result
, it should be good
someone
Change preposition
for someone
show examples
as a coach
teaches
Change the verb form
to teach
show examples
you first.
However
, some people want to register
an
Change preposition
for an
show examples
exercise
class, because they believe in the classes not only you do some
exercise
but
also
you have a fun
time
with your friends or participants who are in the same class as you are.
However
,
exercise
with your friends causes you to not be efficient.
For example
, if you want to talk to your partner,
then
you don'
t
have any focus on your
exercise
. In conclusion, these days people prefer to have a personal
trainer
and as I mentioned above, it has many reasons and positive points.
Submitted by Niyoshakhalili on

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task achievement
While the essay covers key reasons why people might choose personal trainers, it could benefit from acknowledging counterarguments in more depth to present a balanced view, and ensuring that all assertions are clearly substantiated.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring that each paragraph clearly links back to the main argument and that transitions between points are smooth.
coherence cohesion
Further divide longer paragraphs into smaller ones to make points clearer and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to provide a solid framework for your arguments.
task achievement
The essay makes good use of specific examples to support main points, enhancing the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is maintained throughout, making it easy to follow your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized workout plans
  • tailored
  • efficient
  • awareness
  • physical health
  • motivation
  • guidance
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • exclusivity
  • status symbol
  • inaccessible
  • community engagement
  • social interaction
  • health outcomes
  • personal achievement
  • health-conscious
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