IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#food #support #population #country #insects #source #people #nature
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There is no doubt the fact that the population
growht
Correct your spelling
growth
 has required
another sources
Replace the adjective
another source
other sources
show examples
 of
food
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 to satisfy people’s requirements.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that
insects
Use synonyms
 can be a
food
Use synonyms
 option, others argue that
this
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 option not only has a detrimental impact on health but
also
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 on nature.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
analysis
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analyse
show examples
 the pros and cons of eating
insects
Use synonyms
 On one hand,
insects
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 as
source
Add an article
a source
show examples
 of
food
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has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been eaten by different cultures, and they believe that
inscets
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insects
 are considered to be a good alternative for protein.
For example
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,
Chinesse
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Chinese
eat
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eats
show examples
insects
Use synonyms
 as their main meal, and they use them as a protein source.
Additionally
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, some people believe that the body’s immunity is increased by adding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
insects
Use synonyms
 to their meals, which prevents them from
illeness
Correct your spelling
illness
idleness
.
In other words
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,
insects
Use synonyms
 as
food
Use synonyms
 might
contributes
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contribute
show examples
 to promoting the body system.
On the other hand
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, one of eating
insects
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 disadvantages that it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
could result in serious diseases. It is
also
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 possible to say that some types of
insects
Use synonyms
 lead to
increasing
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an increase in
show examples
the chance of diagnose with diseases,
such
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 as
a
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apply
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cancer, or increase the possibility of
person
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a person
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 having a heart attack.
Moreover
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, using
insects
Use synonyms
 as a form of
food
Use synonyms
 can negatively influence our ecosystem, as the extinction of
insects
Use synonyms
 could destroy plants that feed on them.
For instance
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, the results of
American
Correct article usage
an American
show examples
 study found that 76% of plants will be
disappread
Correct your spelling
disappeared
disappear
as a result
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 of
instect
Correct your spelling
insect
extincting
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extinctions
. In conclusion,
insects
Use synonyms
 can be a
food
Use synonyms
 source as some believe
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their benefits.
However
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, their drawbacks might badly impact our health and environment,
therefore
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, I tend to believe that its
negativety
Correct your spelling
negativity
negative
outwieght
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighed
 its
positvity
Correct your spelling
positivity
.
Submitted by alaaalasiry on

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grammatical accuracy
Consider improving grammatical accuracy and range. Note some errors such as 'population growht' instead of 'population growth' which could be distracting.
coherence cohesion
Aim to maintain clarity and flow by linking ideas more smoothly. For instance, transition phrases can enhance the coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Support your arguments with more varied examples from different parts of the world or studies to strengthen your position.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the framework for the discussion on edible insects as a food source.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, like the Chinese eating habits and the American study, to illustrate your points.
supported main points
The main points are supported with explanations, contributing to the essay's development.
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